Schenker... again!

Today was an odd day. Very odd. It could have been a bad day, but I choose not to think of it that way. This is because I chose not to let someone's comments and actions influence my feelings. What I discovered is that sometimes, it is not about you. Sometimes, when someone says something that is inappropriate or mean, it says more about them. Or how they are feeling.

But all school stuff aside, it was a day where I was able to connect with another graduate student who is going through a rough time. It broke my heart to listen to her. But she is a wonderful person and I am confident she will get everything figured out.

I am also doing Schenkerian analysis of my own free will- to understand a piece for my choral masterclass. What I really should be doing is printing off music for my voice lesson tomorrow and running through the beginning of Belshazzar's Feast (for my lesson tomorrow)... and I will do that, as soon as my analysis is done.

St Matthew

Confession: I don't listen to a lot of music by J.S. Bach. I like it, but I normally don't listen to it. I grew up with the hymns (chorales) and recognize a lot of the cantatas. But they never performed the Passions in my small town Lutheran church, they never played the cello concertos, and I rarely heard an invention. So I listened to the St Matthew Passion for the first time this weekend. It was amazing. It is immensely captivating and Bach is so dang good and composing- whether it is the way he sculpts a line or the instrumentation he uses.

If I get a chance to, I am going to check out the score today from the library to read as I listen to it.

Off to plan Women's Choir rehearsal and get their seating chart situated.

A Quiet Space

The rest of the week was a whirlwind. I even got stressed out this week- which I did not expect. I think it is simply because I am trying to get used to the new schedule, find the rhythm. Some of it stems from the fact that I rarely have quiet space at school to do homework. I have decided to start using the Resource Room, which is often quiet. I think that will help a lot. I have a couple hours in between classes usually, so it is helpful to use that time to do homework.

This morning I finished a powerpoint presentation on the homoerotics of Hildegard of Bingen's music. I present on Monday night.

Off to do some research on John Adams and his Harmonium.

Edit: Not John Adams and Harmonium. I don't have the score. I started with Bach's St Matthew Passion.

Choir Spring 2012

First day of second semester has come and gone. It was a good day. I really look forward to my Gender and Music seminar, which is also a Baroque seminar.

The first women's choir rehearsal of the semester went well. It was a little boring and that was my fault. I planned out the rehearsal. I planned out how to introduce the songs and what to do to learn them. However, I failed to really plan toward the concepts they needed to understand, which means the rehearsal was full of things we did, but did not feel like it was going toward a goal. We did a lot and it was still a decent rehearsal, but I have some better planning to do for next week. Last night there were 21 girls (some girls graduated, a handful did not sign-up again, and we added 7 new voices). A few of the ladies who did not sign up I shot e-mails to this morning. I'm not beyond asking them to come back- and what can I do to convince them (chocolate? lunch? an interpretive dance solo?). Partly because our alto section the most experienced and partly because I honestly believe in the reward of choir. Plus, the girls that left seemed to enjoy it last semester- one of them had already spoke with me and just commented on her intense schedule for this semester. And most of the ladies are not music majors, so they are in the process of trying to get into other programs or are in the midst of their own programs already.

So, I am very excited about this semester. Once the confidence level comes back, it will be a solid choir.

I need to go make my dinner and eat my lunch before I take off for school. Almost ready for the day!

Second Semester- and Masterworks

What a dreary day out... rain and clouds.

But, it is the first day of second semester! My class schedule feels so strange- as none of my classes start before 1 PM on any given day. I feel guilty about this, almost. This means that I wake up in the morning (sleeping in until 7:30 AM, else I would not make it to 10 PM at night) and do my typical evening activities in the morning. So this morning, after I woke up, I did laundry, practiced conducting for an hour, wrote my rehearsal plan for women's choir, caught up on e-mails, made my dinner, put together my backpack, and took care of some other small details. No run today- I need a day off sometimes, and what a better day to take off than a rainy one? Oh yes, and I did the important task of creating additional ring tones this morning.

I thought I would sit down and write a quick post before I finished preparing for my day. I will leave fairly soon for school. I do not start until 3 PM today, but I want to be there early to finish prepping for women's choir tonight and see if there are any other last minute details to take care of. If I am all ready, I will start research on my "Masterworks" list. Last night I created a list of all the "choral masterworks" in the Choral Masterworks book by Michael Steinberg and divided them into three sections. I have a time line to study these songs from this semester through the end of next winter break. 45 large works. Is it possible? I think I might be tested on all of these at the end of my program here, so I would like to start researching and listening. Of course, I need to clarify this all with my teacher, which I should be able to do this week.

I conducted the first 75% of Belshazzar's Feast for the first time this morning. Took me an hour (the piece in it's performance entirety is about 35 minutes). My goal for the first couple of times conducting is to understand the direction of the tempo and why. There are a lot of tempos written in the score, as well as tempo directions (speed up, slow down type of stuff). And of course, some of this is sprinkled with dynamics. I am only looking at the voices right now, unless they are not singing. Once I get comfortable with them, I will spend some more time on the instruments. I think I need a music stand to conduct, not just my bathroom counter. I have one of the cheap metal stands from middle/high school band, but it doesn't go up high enough.

Here I go!

Mentor/Talking Shop

What is a mentor?

And really, what kind of investment does a mentor need to have in a mentee?

I think some people believe that a mentor is someone who teaches a mentee... but is that enough? I have had plenty of teachers and most of them I do not consider a mentor. The only person I consider a mentor is Sandra Peter, but I have not really been in touch with her much. She encourages me and is happy to give me advice if I seek it out when I see her. I admire her ear (her sense of pitch and intonation is amazing... more so than many conductors, who can hear things if they are wacky but don't refine) and her enthusiasm. And she is smart.

But does a mentor have to do more? Or no?

I look forward to being able to mentor people someday. I would love to answer questions, to bounce back questions to them, and to explore various musical concepts with them, as well as give encouragement and advice. Maybe that is me looking forward to teaching, not mentoring. I'm not sure.

I do not know if I really believe I have a mentor than. There are conductors I can bounce questions off of, so if that is a mentor, then I am set. And maybe a little disappointed. Be that as it may, I am lucky to know some excellent conductors that I can get tidbits of knowledge from.

I seem to have very few people I can really talk shop with. In fact, I can only really think of one or two (outside of John, who I often force to have music conversations :-) ). One is my friend Austen. If I have a great rehearsal or try a new technique, if I have a revelation or want to share my love of a song, he is always happy to discuss that with me and share his own ideas. I appreciate the dialogue and I never feel judged, never have to worry if I seem dumb or unthoughtful, because the entire conversation is understood as exploratory. I always thought I would meet more people like that, especially since I am in grad school. And I really love discussing music and ideas and passions... or listening to it. But surprisingly, the people I think I will be able to have those kind of conversations with, I never do. Do you want to know what keeps me going back to ACDA? Yes, the key note speakers, yes the reading sessions, but mostly the chance that I might meet another person who is willing to have those discussions.

Don't get me wrong- I really believe that many conductors are passionate, intelligent human beings who probably enjoy those conversations. But very few of those conversations happen. Why? Maybe it's not practical to go around effusing about choral music and rehearsing.

Second semester starts again tomorrow. So does my practice sessions of conducting Belshazzar's Feast. And I will probably start score study of the Bells. I am anxious to get my Bach Cantata in the mail. I have never conduct recitatives before and look forward to doing so.

Goal Setting

I met with my graduate advisor today. She is really a wonderful person, a thoughtful professor, a caring guider, and enthusiastic encourager. We sat down and I asked her questions about the next step in regards to the rest of my tenure in my masters program and about my next school. I hope to do this with my conducting teacher as well.

First, we talked about potential DMA schools. I have to start doing preliminary research on that. I like my program now, but I don't want to be in California for my DMA (and John prefers to try out a different area as well). In a year from now, all my applications for my DMA program will have to be done. It's a little surreal to think about.

The biggest question was: "what can I do now to make me a better DMA candidate?" All other questions were off shoots of that. What skills do I need to develop as a musician and as a person? Can I get something published? How do I go about doing that? Can I present something? I would love to write a reflection or lightly researched paper about Choral Conducting Curriculum. What other topics should I be thinking about? What are my strengths?

I also asked her to give me feedback as a student and as a leader. I am very focused and while many of my fellow students are excellent and intelligent musicians, I find that I am much more intense than many of them. At times I find it difficult to balance. I desire good, thoughtful conversations on my craft (conducting and educating). However, I also do not want to put off any of my fellow students. The teacher in me wants to provoke them into these conversations by asking questions and sitting back, even if I think I have a good answer. :-) It was great to get her reassurance that yes, she sees (and appreciates) my focus. She said that, while my school is a great school, there are other schools in which I might have peers that are a little more intensely engaged.

I want to set goals for this semester. Measurable goals. For all the years I had to set measurable goals for teaching my classes and ensembles, I am now struggling with creating goals and measuring progress for myself. Other than "e-mail professors less, which includes creating succinct e-mails", I don't know how to set reasonable goals. Here are a few of my ideas: Learn 1/3 of the songs in my Michael Steinberg Choral Masterworks book; Talk to my conducting teacher about what is on the aural exam at the end of my program (is it based on the Steinberg book?); Transcribe the Strozzi Madrigal; Research/write something for publication and/or presentation (that is way too broad write now); and I need at least one goal for my conducting- but what? Here my teacher will be very helpful.

I have been talking to John about meeting with my teacher and setting goals for myself the past couple of weeks. And now that I have written it in my blog, I have to follow up by setting goals. And maybe even talking about their progress.

Fortspinnung of Choir Specialness

I don't know how much I will have to say, but there are two topics I would like to address. However, I will be splitting it up into two entries, as I want to allow myself room to elaborate if needed. Plus, I feel that these two topics (especially this first one) are important for me to focus on as separate thoughts.

As mentioned a few days ago, I am reading a book called "Chorus Confidential". Really a great book. In it, the author (Bill Dehning) said that in a choir, the sum is greater than the parts. I have been thinking about this statement a lot the past few days. The timing of this book is perfect in my life- as it is a refresher on so many things as well as still a learning tool.

What makes choirs so special? Well, there are many more reasons than I could list here. More than I will probably ever think of, really. Maybe someday I will attempt to make a list, but I know it will never be exhaustive. I believe choirs are that special. If I didn't, I wouldn't be doing what I am doing. However, I am going to attempt to explain just a small part of the magic of choirs.

I love listening to music of all kinds. Truth be told, I am probably a bad Master of Music student. Most of my "free listening" is spent on groups such as the Avett Brothers or singer/songwriters such as Ingrid Michaelson. Then there is the occasional Backstreet Boys album or Rock of Ages-type musical. Sometimes I want to listen to my favorite classical pieces: Pictures at an Exhibition (the Ravel orchestral version) or Bizet's L'Arlesienne Suite Number 2. I don't listen to tons of choral music, although I do soak up a decent amount of early music, which I love (I think part of the reason I love listening to early music on iTunes is because it records well). The music I listen to the least (other than heavy metal or rap) is probably any sort of aria or art song. It is not that I don't enjoy this, because I do. I like going to recitals and listening to performers of all skill levels. But I am rarely blown away by a single voice and it certainly doesn't transport me to a different place.

But take that single voice, multiply it times 60 and have them sing together. There is a greatness to choirs. With a choir, there is a chance the listener or performer maybe be taken out of their individual barrier and thrown into a transcendent experience. Or at least I know there is that chance, which is what I strive to help shape for the singers and the listeners. Is it the music? Is it the fact we have to be very aware and "in oneness" with our "brothers and sisters" singing with us? Those moments are very personal and spiritual, but yet have a chance to be shared with others in a safe space. It has to be a safe space, otherwise the listener or performer would not be able to get to that spiritual moment, that transcendental moment.

So the performer and listener have to be willing to get out of themselves and be a part of the music. That's tough to do. As I have said before, one cannot "google" choir and how to get that experience. There is no right or wrong answer. In fact, as a singer and conductor, we never GET to the final answer because music is never finished. For a perfectionist like me, that is normally frustrating, but I have gotten used to enjoying the journey. When a person knows there is a right or wrong answer, there is often a way to get there without having to take down any "walls". When the answer is the journey, it is useless if the performer/listener/conductor does not take down the wall. Well, maybe not useless, but it is not a complete experience.

Hmmm, so what is the real priority for a conductor? The ability to encourage and shape that transcendent, communal moment? Or the moment itself? Meaning, do I consider a semester or choral season a success if my singers learn how to open themselves up to that moment but they don't actually get that moment?

I don't have an answer for that right now.

And here I reach the end of my jumbled thought process for the time being. A type of fortspinnung, I guess.

Decoding Belshazzar's Feast

I spent my flights either reading about Decoding the Choral Arts or staring at Belshazzar's Feast. During my layover in Salt Lake City, I did some conducting as well. But I really have to finish marking my score the way I want it to be marked... otherwise I miss important things... like accelerandos or dynamics. The reason I miss them if I don't mark them, at least in this score, is because there are so many instruments that at times the full score gets really tiny. Colored pencils will be a great asset in this score. Today, other than marking the score with colored pencils, I will also review the couple pages of notes at the beginning of the score. And I will conduct some of it. Tomorrow my goal is to sing through the entire song, each part. And do some more conducting. I think I am slowly developing any idea of how I want to prepare scores (what order to do what and how to use my time most efficiently).

Cooking

I am re-energized to do well this semester. I want to go above and beyond what I did last semester. I am hopeful that I will meet with my teacher next week for a lunch. I would like to pick his brain about musical things, as well as how to proceed professionally and what I should do to have a better chance and getting into a great DMA school (as well as a better chance for financial aid). I have a list of questions started. I only have three semesters left of my masters. And I decided I really am going to push for getting an hour long conducting lesson a week instead of every other week. While I love singing and really enjoy voice lessons, my focus is and should be conducting.

I am excited!

Oh, and I have the music selected for our March 16th benefit concert. More on that later!

Clefs

I bought a Bach Cantata on Amazon for a really cheap price. It had said "Full Score" so that was the only real requirement I had thought of for looking at scores. I had looked at cantatas on CPDL and IMSLP, but they used a variety of clefs- alto, soprano, and tenor, as well as treble and bass. This is a problem, partly because even though I can read those clefs, it would make score prep a LOT more difficult and time consuming, and partly because the accompanist would not find success reading open scoring of these different clefs. My lessons would probably not be as successful as they could be.

So today I put in a call to JW Pepper. My preference is a Barenreiter score, but really any publisher who does not use the variety of clefs would work. I can always double check any editions against facsimiles or scores we have in the library.

Being a musician can be expensive.