Recital #1 Repertoire- Approved!

My recital repertoire is chosen and approved.  I look forward to sharing the pieces over the next few weeks.  I could not be more excited about the repertoire chosen.  It's going to be a challenging program.   However, if I can do my job, I am confident the singers can do very well.

The general break down is this: I have a folk set, a sacred set, a "dark" language scary set (which, as you may recall from an earlier post, will include the piece I already had approved- the Wolf), and a French set.  I will be more specific as I learn more.

The rest of this week I can spend time on work organizing and learning music.  This is the most wonderful time of the year.

Semester 1- Almost done

My first semester of my DMA program is coming to a close.  I took my big final today for Choral Literature.  Tomorrow I have a final to attend, but I already gave my final presentation last week for the class.  I still have a to-do list, but it is not nearly as big or as pressing.

The most important thing now is for me to focus on recital repertoire.  I have another meeting with my professor tomorrow- let's hope we can get the recital repertoire solidified.  I want to spend quite a bit of time with it over break.  I am so unbelievably excited about that.  As soon as all is approved, I will start sharing my research on here.

In the meantime, let me talk about choral literature.  Specifically, two pieces that I to which I dance "the robot."  In hora ultima by di Lasso (de Lasso, di lassus, whatever).  It's a short, English, sacred motet that talks about the final hour of the the world.  However, after declaring all will perish at the final hour, the text names a bunch of joyful things: trumpet, flute, harp, dancing, singing, joking... and it is at the trumpet call ("tu-u-u-u-u-bae") that I like to dance the robot.  I recommend listening to it.  The second piece "robot" to is Das Gläut zu Speyer by Senfl.  The melody gets traded off between some of the middle voices and the rhythm becomes off set and suddenly I'm doing the robot.

Next semester I am currently registered for 14 credits.  15 is the max for a graduate student.  There is a good chance I will be adding one more credit.  It's a history course I really want to take but can't, and apparently it's possible to take it as a 1 credit course and just do the readings for the class (and show up, of course).  I will be interested to see how next semester shapes up.  I have much more going on, but I have a better idea of how I need to do what.  I still have the things I have to take: Choral Literature, Conducting, both choirs... I am also taking a theory (which is actually about the history of music theory), voice lessons, orchestral conducting, and hopefully the history course.  Plus I'm giving a recital.  It sounds like a lot (because it is), however I have a better idea of how I want to structure my time next semester.  I need to create a schedule for myself- not because I don't get things done, but because if I simply create a to-do list and don't get things fully checked off, I start to stress out.  So many of my "to-do"s are large projects that take much longer than a day, so instead of having a to-do list that never gets any shorter (because of these large projects), I am going to start scheduling my day.  That way I can still "check off" that I dedicated an hour to this or two hours to that.

I do feel a bit uncomfortable now that the semester is ending.  While I have things to do, the stress is lifted.  I do not have to wake up tomorrow morning and schedule my entire day to get all the things I need to done.  I will wake up at a decent time and go to school to work on things, but nothing is pressing.  And tomorrow night?  I get to spend time at home.  Tonight I did some work but I also cleaned and got reacquainted with what it feels like to be at home and do needed chores.  I may have to put effort into actually relaxing, but at least this is a start!

This is my last first semester as a student.

Pre-approved

I have submitted my recital list.  Except I am missing one piece that is still coming in the mail.

Since it has not been approved, I am hesitant to share what I have chosen.  My professor could say "pick other pieces" for a variety of reasons.

However, there is one piece I KNOW I will be conducting, as I have already received "approval" verbally.  The piece was bought last year by our school because my director had thought about performing it, so the school does not need to purchase the music (which is great, because it's not a cheap piece of music).  And I am so excited.

This piece?  Der Feuerreiter by Hugo Wolf.  I have already checked out a book to help me understand this piece of music.  I will be doing more research on my recital music over January.  I should receive music in the mail in the next few days.

I am very excited about this.  I recommend listening to it.

Three Days of Crazy

It has been a whirlwind of a the past three days.  I want to sum this up here, because it has had such great impact on my professional life.

My article is officially published, which is great.  However, someone wrote a letter to the editor about my article and they were not pleased.  The journal has a policy that publishes all letters to the editor.  To make a long story short, the letter to the editor was a bit vitriolic, seeming to be more upset with the editors than my article, but still disagreeing with some things I said.  However, for those of you that read my article, have no fear... there were two misspellings in my article, but the rest of the things this person pointed out I would take issue with.  I can back up what I wrote with research and I believe it to be pretty sound.  Needless to say, it caused me a little stress for a couple of days.  The journal is not going to print this letter to the editor, as the writer has said they would prefer it not to be published.

Based on this experience, I had a great conversation with one of my professors today.  She brought many things to my attention worth considering, but I will only mention two on here: 1) a person who has so much experience in the field should not be nitpicking a graduate students work, especially given the fact it was a relatively "small" article.  Yes, a big article to me, but small compared to anybody who is in the musicology field.  2) The opening of line of the letter to the editor criticizes the journal by saying, "Did no one who knows anything about Brahms or his choral music actually read/edit it?"  My professor wisely said to me, "This opening line says a lot about the real issue that this had."  This person who wrote the letter is a scholar in the field of the article I wrote... yet, this person was not asked to edit or write an article for this issue of the publication.  My professor pointed out this could have been a response to that, rather than the article.

My editor, in her last e-mail to me said (paraphrased), "It is a fine and well written article, and I would not give it another thought."

I am so glad that is over.  I feel less stressed with out this hanging over my head.  But what an experience!

The other thing that has made the past few days a whirlwind is: I conducted my first high school festival.  It was last minute, as I was a fill-in conductor for someone else.  But, it was amazing!  It was completely draining.  But it was wonderful.  The high schoolers did good things and many of them had fun.  The choir teachers thanked me and believed that I was teaching their students something.  Not to mention, I can put this on my CV.  I was very pleased and so excited to have this experience.

I am a bit overwhelmed about the experiences I have had.  I am so fortunate.  I have happened to be in the right place at the right time, or I know the right person.  Because of this, I get to share in the joy of music with others.  I hopefully affect their life in a positive way through music (or through scholarship about music).  Wow.

First Festival

Great news!  I was asked to step in and conduct a high school festival.  For tomorrow.  Yikes!  But the good news is that the music is simple, singable, and many choirs will catch on quickly.  The music is fun, which means the day is going to be full of fun.

So, the story: I received a Facebook message from a former mentor who is now conducting at my alma mater.  She taught there on a three year stint when I was there and I was her assistant conductor my senior year.  I also met up with her when I lived in Arizona.  Needless to say, our paths cross often enough, usually for professional reasons.  I have always admired her both as a musician and as a person.  At any rate, she was supposed to lead a festival tomorrow, but is returning from a festival in Texas and her flight was delayed due to inclement weather.  She recommended me to the organizer of the festival as a person who might be able to jump in and do the festival.  So I gave him a call, and he indeed was scrambling to find someone.  So, I rearranged some plans for tomorrow and now I am heading north an hour to lead a high school festival for a day.

This will be my first festival, although I have adjudicated before.  I guess this is really happening- I have published an article, I will lead a festival.  And you know how I got here?  Sheer luck.  I happen to be in the right place at the right time or maybe I know a person who knows I'm around.  But no matter, I will capitalize on these opportunities.

On a side note: I e-mailed my professor about my absence tomorrow afternoon from choir.  We are within 10 rehearsals of a concert, so normally absences are unexcused no matter what.  However, it is for a professional reason.  I am a little nervous about his response and I feel pretty bad that I am missing (as a TA).  But how could I NOT take this opportunity?  Rehearsing a festival from noon to 5:30 and then perform in a 7:00 PM concert?  Not only is a great thing to put on my CV, but it sounds like fun.  So yes, a little nervous about his response, but I just couldn't imagine NOT taking this opportunity.

And my colleagues have stepped up to help cover a few things for me tomorrow.  And my friend Cara helped me piece together a bio for the program tomorrow.  And John cooked dinner and then cleaned up, even though it was my job, so I could prepare for tomorrow.  I am really pretty lucky to have such support.

Recital Music is Percolating

I made quite a bit of progress on my recital list tonight.  I keep having to remind myself that these pieces are for a small chamber group, and no, I can't do anything from Tchaikovsky's Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom.  But that is now on my "I will conduct this someday" list.

I'm still missing something.  I know I am.  Or maybe I made so many decisions tonight that I just feel I am missing something.  Or rather, the individual pieces are great, but I want to make sure it fits together in an exciting and challenging way for the singers and a quality and entertaining way for the audience.

Want to know what those pieces are?  Well, I am not ready to share even my ideas yet!  But I can say this: I am programming for a smaller choir.  We have an excellent accompanist.  I hope to have them sing in Russian.  I have two pieces that could potentially be "big" closers, so I am not sure how the energy of that would work.  I have pieces in which the choir can work on producing different colors.  I am excited to have a choir that will understand that concept and be able to respond to it- and I will be able to push them.  Also, one of the pieces I have chosen is a piece I have heard before as a pop remix in Zumba.  I currently have six languages programmed.  I need 30-40 minutes worth of music. I have some REALLY tough pieces planned, and the toughest ones I don't plan on having to cut from my list.

In other news, today I submitted credit transfer paperwork for two classes from my masters- a theory and a history.  It would be so extremely helpful if those credits from my masters could count toward a requirement or two of my DMA.

Hassler's Four Voice Cantate Domino

Today's blog post brought to you by the piece "Cantate Domino" by Hans Leo Hassler.

I conduct this tomorrow morning in conducting class.  I am the last one to conduct this piece, as I am second to the end in this round.  We conduct in a pre-established order and the pieces in each round vary.  So I am conducting the same things that two other classmates conducted.  Since I am the last one to go, I better have some good musical ideas and I better be ready to clean up any thing that sounds muddy yet.

First, some background.  Based on Psalm 96:1-3, Hassler would often set multiple versions of the same text.  "Cantate Domino" he set for four voices, five voices, eight voices, and twelve voices.  I may have missed a voicing in there.  I am conducting the four voice edition.  I like the edition we are using- it's Arista Edition.  They are very clean.

The music is not so "clean" anymore, as it has all my markings on it.  Groupings, text stress, breaths, glottals, dynamics, articulations, a few diction reminders, translation, etc.  This piece is fairly straight forward.  There will not be much for the singers to think about tomorrow except just making music.  There are no dynamic markings in the score from the edition.  I put in a few, put they are fairly conservative dynamics.

So I am struggling with two things on this piece.

One: Tempo.  It's easy to start too quickly.  Or start a good tempo and speed up.  Or change tempo when I go through the triple/duple modulations.  I do not want to snowball to the end and I certainly do not want to be taking the tempo too quickly during the last section, or there is no way the choir will put on a phrase-ending "s" together.  And breaths will sound like gasps before moving forward.  On the other hand, if I start too slowly, the piece drags.  It loses livelihood.  Needless to say, I have been thinking a lot about the tempo.

Two: Dynamics.  I know it's a Renaissance piece.  But I really do not think I want the group to sing it mezzo-mezzo.  As mentioned earlier, I have fairly conservative dynamic markings written in, but I actually think those markings are less conservative when I hear it in my head.  So I am pretty sure I will ask them to give me more (and less) tomorrow morning than what the page is showing.

So, I am exhausted.  But before I sign off, I think that Hassler is very subtly clever in his writing.  The only time the word "populis" is sung (which means "people") is the only time Hassler borrows the Bb from a different hexachord.  It's as if the people are in a different realm (literally, a different hexachord realm) from the rest of God's praise.

I have more patience than I thought...

A million years ago, I said my next blog entry would be about a piece.  But that is not true.  I will try to make my NEXT post about a piece I am working on- or my potential recital repertoire.

Before I share with you an experience of today, I wanted to give you a glimpse of what my DMA life is like.  On Mondays, I wake up generally at 7:00 AM and head out about 8:00 AM.  Between the hours of 8 and 3:30, I have about an hour and a half of free time, in which I try to get some tiny amount of work done.  Normally I get something done, but it hardly makes a dent in my pile of work that constantly needs to be done.  I feel as if going to the bathroom is an inconvenience and I desperately wish there were two of me, so one of me could go to class and the other of me could get my work done to a level that is satisfactory to my expectations.  It doesn't happen.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are busy during the day, similar to Mondays.  The problem with Thursdays is that my last class finishes at 3:30, and while I might want to relax because it's almost Friday, I really should work hard until 10:00 at night, with a break for a work out.  Sometimes I eat too.  Wednesdays are a bust- my schedule is pretty packed from morning until 9:00 PM.  I have a little time during the day on Wednesdays, but it's not nearly enough time to get anything productive done if I need to leave the office.  I made the mistake a couple of times of going to the library during my free time on Wednesdays.  Bad idea- my trips to the library always take me longer than I think and then I feel rushed.  Inevitably I don't get everything I need so I have to go back the next day.  Fridays, my class ends at 11 AM.  This sounds amazing.  Except, again, I have a pile of stuff to do constantly.  I always have a presentation to be working on.  I have a tiny list of "to do"s, if I have time, for each class I am in.  The point of this entire paragraph is this: I am currently taking 13 credits.  I work a part-time job.  I spend significantly less time on Facebook than I used to.  My e-mails are piling up.  So yes, I'm busy.  But here's the kicker- if I want to get all my classwork done in two years (which is the norm), I will have to take 15 credits for probably two semesters.  I just hope I am able to be more efficient with my time now, so that adding two more credits next semester is okay.

It is difficult to feel like I'm doing well at my program when I am constantly pressed for time on all my assignments.  In reality, I am performing well on assessments and projects, but that does not mean I am satisfied with my work or my understanding.  I love this learning and this program, but I hope I struggle less with getting things accomplished.

In good news, I get a week off for Thanksgiving.  I am so excited about all I can get accomplished during that time.

So, here is what I actually wanted to share:

Today, a very strange thing happened.  I was conducting an ensemble.  This ensemble meets every Monday and is a volunteer choir.  They needed a conductor and back in August I said I would do it.  There is one singer who has not been excited about rehearsals.  I have known this and I have seen her get frustrated at times because I will stop and give the group feedback.  Well, today during warm-ups, she came up to me (yes, during warm-ups... rehearsal had started), and she said, "I know some people will probably be mad at me, but we need to just sing our music.  We are five weeks away from our Christmas concert and we just need to sing the music.  It's great you are doing warm-ups and it's great to hear you talk, I'm sure, but we need to sing our music."

It really threw me for a loop.  But I responded, " I understand.  I have the group sing warm-ups so we can apply those concepts to our music and to our voices to help be better musicians.  And that is important."  Or I said something along those lines, and I went back to the warm-up.

First, I have heard from four of my singers today.  All four have said, basically, that I am doing a great job and they enjoy learning from me.  One of them even said, "Please don't leave because of this, we are so lucky to have you."  While that makes me feel good, overall, I know that what I am doing is not going to change.  I believe too strongly in helping my singers be the best musicians they can be- and that includes understanding musical concepts and working on vocal technique.  My job is not just to teach notes and rhythms, but it's to help singers grow in musicality and in confidence.  What thrills me is two things: 1) My singers have seemed to respond to the learning and growth that take place during ensemble time and 2) we went on to have a great rehearsal today.

I know that singer who approached me during rehearsal was out of line.  It was the inappropriate place to voice frustration and I know what I am doing is good.  But I also think it was a reflection on where she is at.  I know I am different from past directors- I do more than bang out notes.  I take the time to teach because I want my singers to understand what I am listening to and how I want to shape the sound.  I think this makes her uncomfortable because this is not what they were used to for so many years.  I also feel very bad for her.  I worry that she feels so out-of-control with changes in her own life, a simple change (such as a new rehearsal style) really upsets her.  I want her and all my singers to enjoy singing.  But I also believe in healthy, good singing, musical singing.

She left before rehearsal ended, so I did not get a chance to talk with her at the end.  I have not decided if I am going to speak with her.  It may not be worth it.  It is too bad, however.  She could probably really learn to enjoy the music making process more than note-repeating.

It's a great weekend!

What's so great about this weekend?

I have no big presentation on Tuesday!  I have a paper to write for conducting class on Hans Leo Hassler.  I have to answer a few questions about some early German lute tablature.  And I am starting preliminary research on my next presentation (at the end of the month).  Tomorrow I will actually spend some time completely away from school- I won't even let it enter my brain for a couple hours.  I am excited.

But not tonight.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about choirs and auditions.  What do I listen for?  It really is different for most conductors.  I have more of a bent toward voices like I heard in my masters.  Before my masters, I had a bent toward the midwest Lutheran tradition.  I'm sure what I listen for will change and I am excited to start auditioning and working with my own choir, although not quite yet.

The big question running through my head now is about solo voices in a choir.  This pondering seems to come up every couple of years or so.  The group I sang with in my masters was an ensemble with many full, big voices.  But the ensemble was awesome.  And more than that, it felt good to sing with that ensemble.  I am constantly holding my voice back now in my current ensemble.  But that, of course, could be me and could have nothing to do with the expectations of sound... however, in reality, it's probably a combination.

Next entry, I think I will blog about a piece. Not sure which one yet.

Isaac and Senfl

Yes, I am writing a post.  No, I haven't quit school and suddenly have a lot of time.

But I am finishing up work on a presentation for Tuesday.  Have I mentioned that my DMA program is at least 3 times the work of my masters?  Being so busy is tough... especially when I have no control over how busy I am.  I feel as if I am staying a half step ahead of all my work, which is better than a half step behind.

With that being said, if you have any questions about Isaac and Senfl, I'm going to give what I hope to be is an A-presentation on Tuesday, so please ask.

Let me talk about something a bit more interesting.  Conducting chant.

I have conducted twice in my conducting class.  Both times were flops.  I mean sure, there was some direction in my line and I obviously knew the music and knew what I wanted... but my gesture was all choppy.  I really tried hard to make it better in between conducting experiences.

Conducting chant involves doing conducting that is a bit like dipping your hand in a pot of water and moving it gracefully through.  I have never been good at that.  So mine was a bit more like chopping vegetables.  But I really did try.

I really can "stir the water" with my gesture if I work hard.  I know the direction I need to head.  But now we start polyphony and I have no idea what's going to happen.  I do know that tomorrow I am going to mark a bunch of 2 and 3 groupings.  And now that my presentation is under control, I can stay on top of my next presentation AND dedicate more time to conducting.

Professional Disappointment

So today I dealt with professional disappointment.  This is not the first time and I know it will not be the last.  This is a part of our lives, as musicians and as humans.  But that does not mean it is not a bummer.

This summer I revised my master thesis quite a bit so it could be printed.  I received an e-mail today from the issue editor; my article will not fit in the focus issue (which was moved from December to February).  She asked if she could send my article to another person who edits smaller columns.  She mentioned my article her that editor already and the person was very interested.

Still... a bummer.

I do not feel like a "failure" myself.  My article is well written and full of good information.  But I am really disappointed.  I really tried not to get too excited when this came up as a possibility.  Getting published as a feature article has always been on my "bucket" list.  And it will stay there (and yes- I can already hear a voice in my head saying, "Just for now.  It will stay there for now.  But you have so much time and maybe you can get a feature article in the future."  But that voice is annoying me right now.  Seriously... I can never stop my own positivity.  Sometimes it drives me crazy).

I conducted today in class.  It was great to finally conduct in front of an extremely responsive group!  I conducted a chant.  Simple but... not.  I will watch the video this weekend and try to learn something from it.  I did some very odd things, but made some improvements.  I also am toying around with some new ideas as far as how I would conduct the chant (this one or another one) differently.  I am thinking about things such as how I would use the conducting plane or how I can even out some of my tacti so as not to give something weight that sounds like it could have weight but should not.

Tonight, in church choir rehearsal, I worked on tone color with my singers.  It was great!  I had them sing with a variety of "colors."  Nasal, back in the throat, full and full of vibrato, non vibrato and rich, non vibrato and thin, varying vowels, etc.  I reminded them that every time they sing, they choose their color.  I help guide them, but they have to be making the constant choice.  We experimented with how to achieve colors that would be in tune and "blend" without compromising their individual sound.  Not a surprise, tall vowels with a healthy, supported sound lends itself to a rich, warm color of the entire choir.  I had the soprano section demonstrate singing in different colors (at the same time, so it sounded like a bunch of individual voices that did not sing quite in tune) versus singing with support and listening to their "sisters."  It was successful.

Time to Breathe!

For the first time in 2 weeks, I finally feel like I am catching up.  Now, this does not mean I think I am AHEAD on anything.  I just feel as if I'm not running to catch up.  I have a presentation tomorrow on performing practices.  I am addressing various vocal considerations.  I have spent a lot of time the past few weeks reading various sources.  I spent hours and hours this past weekend typing up hand outs and synthesizing my own notes.  I need to run through it tonight (and maybe tomorrow morning).  But the information is there.

Already I begin on my next presentation.  Actually, two presentations.

At any rate, let me briefly comment on chant.

There is this thing about chant.  The Monks of Solemnes basically just beat every two beats.  I mean, they grouped it into twos and threes, but unless it was a group neum, they seemed to group every two microbeats, regardless of text stress.  I don't like that.  But, to each their own.  Even the Monks of Solemn.

I asked myself a question last Thursday and only just now was able to answer it.  The question was: Does "Hélas mon dueil" by Dufay sound liked "Solo e pensoso" by Marenzio?  I heard the Dufay piece briefly in a class.  And I thought about that.  So I wrote myself an e-mail asking myself that question.  And now I am answering it.  No.  Not they do not sound similar.  Often I hear these things and often things are similar, so I am a little disappointed they do not sound alike.  I LOVE the Marenzio piece.

I'm starting to think about recital pieces for my March DMA recital.  More mulling on that later.  I have a few ideas (including a Holst set), but I'm still open to ideas.  So many great pieces out there!

First Day of Classes- officially

Yesterday was the first day of classes, but I did not have any classes to attend.  I normally would on Mondays, but my conducting class was cancelled (my teacher was moving his son into college).  Choir is not happening this week because we are holding choir auditions.  So today, Tuesday, is my first day of classes.  I have two classes this morning.  So, perhaps I will have homework and I look forward to that.

It's very interesting to sit in on auditions.  I did not get to hear anyone sing yesterday afternoon, as the person who was supposed to be greeting had to leave to take her daughter to a doctor's appointment.  I look forward to listening and evaluating more singers today.

There is no men's chorus.  I sent an e-mail to the directors last night about this.  Mainly, I offered my assistance if they decided a men's chorus was something they wanted to begin (I know- I'm crazy.  I have no time for that, but I think it's a worthy cause).

I planned out my first Chapel Choir rehearsal as well.  What a fun time!  I think things will be great.

This weekend I need to pick out some pieces for the bell choir, too.

By the way, I like the Oxford comma.  I don't like reading things that don't have the Oxford comma.

Domination

Crushed it.  Both placement exams.

Okay, in reality, I am unsure of what my scores were.  Maybe I received the minimum 70%, but I do know that I "passed" the exams so I will have no survey course work to do.

My entire semester will be focused on early music.  I can hardly wait.  Both choral lit and choral conducting are plainchant through Renaissance, plus I am taking Counterpoint before 1600 and Renaissance Notation.  And I'm singing.  I'm not sure if this semester could be more perfect- at least academically.  Early music, conducting, and singing.

Tomorrow I reward myself by studying Thomas Tallis.  I told myself that if I did not pass, I would review whatever material I thought I did not know.  Although to be honest, I would not have known what material I did not know.  I felt fairly comfortable with both exams.  However, I passed, so I will be fun studying Thomas Tallis and his sacred music.  I might also spend some time with Byrd's Mass for 3 Voices.

Last Placement Exam... Ever

Placement exams are done.  I should find out results tomorrow.

I guess... this means I'm about to truly become a DMA student.  I'm ready.  I'm excited.

This weekend I have nothing I have to study, although my Choral Conducting professor said he will be e-mailing an assignment.  I may try to study some scores for fun, if I have time... it's kind of a big weekend.

I felt good about the theory placement exam.  I didn't know all the answers, specifically the last question of the exam.  But the rest of it should be right unless I made a dumb mistake.  But then again, theory has never been a struggle.  And it's undergraduate theory they are testing on.

And, I felt decent about the history placement exam.  I knew almost all the answers on the first two questions (related to early music).  And I knew most of the answers on the last two pages of the exam (believe it or not, 20th century history).  I may have gotten some things switched around.  For example, the person who brought Neopolitan opera to somewhere or something... I forgot the question, but I wasn't exactly sure of the answer, so I made an educated guess.  There was also a question that said, " Which of the following people did not compose music?"  It was between Cosima Wagner and Alma Mahler.  I did not know anything about Mahler's wife.  I know a little bit more about the history of Cosima and had never heard of her composing, so that sounded right to me.  I looked it up later.  That's right- she didn't compose.

The other thing that is tough: whenever I feel good about an exam, I second guess myself (does it EVER stop?).  Maybe I'm overly confident?  There is always that warning voice that says, "What if I just think I know but I don't?"  Anyways, I feel pretty good, for the most part, about both exams.  We'll see.  Tomorrow.

Another Choir

I volunteered to conduct another choir.  I may be crazy.  But this group sounds like fun.  It's a volunteer group that are all employees of a nearby hospital.  It has not been a large group- 15 people this last year.  There are no real limitations on what I type of music I can conduct.  The group sings twice (well, four times).  Twice in December (one at the hospital, one at the senior center) and twice in May.

I pulled some music to look at it yesterday.  They have a music library, as at one point they were funded by an arts grant.  I am not so sure the choir is as well funded now.  I guess I will learn more as I get involved.

The rehearsals are once a week over people's lunch.  We won't begin for a few weeks yet, which is great- because I would not be ready to begin next week.  Okay, that's not true.  I COULD begin next week, but I really wouldn't want to.

I am not sure where all the time has gone.  I have no more open days.  The few hours I have open, I will spend studying (after, of course, this blog post).

The ELCA's 25th anniversary is coming up.  My choir is going to be one of the choirs singing at the synod worship.  I think I have selected our piece.  It's an arrangement of "Let All the World" by Daniel Kallman.  I'm really excited about this.

An American Style

Did you know that Washington's favorite opera was "The Beggar's Opera?"  It was written in 1728.  Sometimes I forget that a young American would experience music from Europe.

When I think of early America, I often do not think of opera (or semi opera) or any sort of instrumental performance.  I often just think of early singing schools, singing hymns and early American music.

What an interesting history America has with music.  One of the few westernized countries that does not nor has ever had a national conservatory of music.  In fact, rarely does the country sponsor any sort of music.  It took years for composers to find some sort of "American" style of music for their compositions- and Dvorak was the first composer to try to incorporate a national style into his symphony.  Oh, and Dvorak wasn't American.   He was doing it to try to inspire the American composers to embrace music that was American.  But the question had (and has) always been, "What is American music?  What's the American style?"

And I wonder, are national styles even distinctive now?  I don't know enough of contemporary works to have even a guess.

Warning: "Higher Level Music" bashing

Alright, it's time to come clean to my family, friends, and music community at large.

I hate it when I hear someone say they don't want to work with a certain age group (or, conversely, only want to work with a certain age group) because they want to make "higher level music."

I have always been disturbed by this trend.  It started in undergrad; that was the first time I heard someone say, "I don't want to work with middle school kids because I want to make higher level music."  It was said by someone who had only ever worked with high school students in practicum.  I have heard this from undergrads that I have worked with (many of whom had never had ANY practicum experience); example: "I don't want to work with middle school students, because I just want to teach high school."  My response: Oh?  Really?  Why just high school?  The reply:  "You can't really make higher levels of music with middle school students.  But you can make music with high school students."  I have heard from various people that a person cannot make real music with elementary students or church choirs or high school students.  Lies- those are said by people who let their own limitations get in the way of teaching their ensemble good musicianship.

Makes. Me. Angry.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to teach middle school, elementary, high school, college age, church groups, or professional groups, but it should be a choice separate from someone's perceived stigma of their "lower" or "higher" level of music.  Because a good teacher-conductor can make good music at all levels.  And really, what's the use of making ANY music if it is not good?  That's a disservice to the ensemble, you, the listeners, and music itself.

I think the larger question is: What is "higher level music?"  I have never heard a good piece of music (no matter how simple or difficult) and thought, "Well, I just don't want to do this one ever.  It's a lower level of music."

Sometimes I wonder if people are afraid to be good at teaching younger ages because maybe they'll like it.  A new colleague told me that after her degree is finished, she wants to continue teaching high school.  She loves teaching high school.  She's passionate about teaching high school.  Another person in the field said to her, "Why would you want to teach high school?  Don't you want to work with people who can make higher levels of music?"

Without high school, middle school, elementary teachers, without church choir directors who have children's choirs and without community youth choirs, I wouldn't have a job (and neither would the person posing these questions to my colleague).  Beyond that, the world would have less enjoyers of music.

The point is: Good music should be the goal.  I hate excuses (which is what "higher level music" sounds like to me).  Just make good music.

Gentle Giant

Fine.

Closed the history book I was studying out of today after a long day of taking notes.  I was so happy when I reached the section about rock music.  Then I listened to Chuck Berry.  That's a lot more fun than listening Cowell's The Banshee.

Then tonight I opened up the notebook in which I took notes and am starting the review of my notes while integrating more music and more Wikipedia/Oxford Dictionary of Music reading.  Tonight I ended with the German Minnesänger, and will be there again tomorrow.

And for an early music type rock song from the '70s:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro3eVIFzN5g

I had never heard of Gentle Giant before today.  In canon... and there's a fugue!  Actually, the canon is very much like a caccia, where the voices that are in canon exchange parts.  Cool.

Contemporary History?

Leonard Bernstein once wrote, "... I have far more pleasure in following the musical adventures of SImon & Garfunkel or of The Association sining 'Along Comes Mary' than I have in most of what is being written now by the whole community of 'avant garde' composers... Pop music seems to be the only area where there is to be found unabashed vitality, the fun of invention, the feeling of fresh air.  Everything else suddenly seems old-fashioned: electronic music, serialism, chance music- they have already acquired the musty odor of academicism."

This is what I'm thinking about as I am about to start my study of contemporary music history.  Although, that's a contradiction... contemporary music history.

It seems as though the more documentation of historical things, the more difficult it is for historians to generalize.  For example, there are lots of generalizations about early music.  There are not multiple different music movements, each with it's own label, it's own chapter, it's own list of composers and typical forms.  However, there are multiple chapters with multiple different sectional headings about mid-19th century music and beyond.  I wonder if it would be to our benefit to be able to categorize it better.  I'm not suggesting that I would like music to all fit neatly into one box; rather, I would like there to be more structure and framework in which to understand music and the historical movements of more recent times.  And then again, maybe it's impossible to give more framework, as we are not far enough removed from the events.

The book I'm taking notes from is fine.  I'm starting to find some irritations with it- such as it's intense focus on instrumental music in later periods.  From 1850-1900, it had two pages about sacred music.  That's it.  But dozens of pages on instrumental music.  I don't care to read multiple different pages on the break down of a variety of symphonies (their form, harmonic tendencies, etc).  There was one sentence written about Brahms's Requiem.  That sentence was basically saying, "Hey, there was sacred music.  Brahms wrote a Requiem."

I have made and am making a list of composers who wrote vocal music during this time so that I can look up some of their vocal stuff once I have finished the book.

Who knows?  Maybe there will be more about choral music in the upcoming chapters about Sergei Diaghilev, set theory, and Alban Berg...

Although, as a reminder to myself, my placement exam covers both instrumental and choral history.  I just care a lot less about the instrumental stuff, so it seems very tedious.

A Great Idea... Really?

I am reviewing history because I do not want to take a remedial history course.  And if I have to take the two remedial courses, so be it.  But I would love to take different courses.  The reason I bring this up (again) is because I am 271 pages into the 640 page book and have spent four days on it already.  I am trying to get through 100 pages a day, although that didn't happen the first two days.  However, now I am dedicated.  I will get through at least 100 pages a day.  At least.  It takes a long time to read 100 pages, because I listen to all the music examples.  I should reach the Classical era today.  Too bad- I love early music and could study for hours about that.  Nay, I could study for DAYS about early music.

But I have to be honest... castrati?  Whose idea was that?  And why?  At what point did someone say, "Hey, I have a great idea, but we need a prepubescent boy who shows lots of musical promise.  And of course, we will determine their life's work for them.  Get me a surgeon!"  Surely, the person listening would have went, "Whoa!  Stop!  Maybe we should try it on you first, buddy..."

And now what do we do with all those castrati opera roles?  3 options: 1) Use a woman, 2) Use a countertenor, or 3) transpose the notes down an octave.  Options 1 and 2 are much more used.

I wonder what Bach thought of the practice.

Music Creation

Musique concrète.  Pointallism.  Klangfarbenmelodie.  Aleatory music.  Metric modulation.  Dodecaphonic.  Planing.  Coloristic chord succession.  Dominant +7.  So, the last few chapters of my theory book reviewed a bunch of concepts I hadn't thought about for awhile.  I am so glad that most of it is recalled very quickly.  I have been worried that I won't do well on the theory examine (imagine that... me, worried?), but it is a bit comforting to remember that theory was always something that came easily.  I will continue to review theory, but today I look forward to starting history review.  I have not decided if I will just start reading a history textbook and taking notes or if I will give myself time to read things I am interested in- such as my Brahms book or even Wikipedia.  

Theory is a bit crazy at times.  It is so orderly and logical.  But the problem is when everybody tries to start breaking the composition "rules."  Suddenly, there are limitless possibilities of what could happened with specific rules that may or may not have common progressions but all have exceptions.  I love that about music.  I also love that it is up to your ear to decide.

Music is so much about interpretation.  I didn't understand that when I was younger.  I was a passive listener, although I enjoyed it.  It didn't occur to me that I could be the creator and shaper of music.  I didn't learn that until... well, when did I learn that?  Later.  Even throughout most of college I was so focused on teaching that I didn't think about creating.  But yet, I had wanted to.

In fact, I think most people want to create music.  Who hasn't written their own songs?  I did on the piano and guitar in middle school.  I tried to compose and arrange in college.  Even when I was little, I would make up my own melodies.  I bet many people hum melodies they make up on the spot.  That's music creation.

Les Noces

I registered for some classes.  I have had a very good experience so far with the faculty here.  I find them to be friendly, helpful, and organized.  I knew this already, based on my experiences with them thus far through the admissions process, but it is really extremely wonderful.  I should be able to get credit for my research class from my masters so that I do not have to retake it here.

It seems to be expected that most incoming students will pass the theory placement exam but fail the history exam.  This is a bit intimidating.  I have been reviewing theory now for about a week.  I will continue to do so.  Tomorrow I start reviewing history.  I probably should have started reviewing history a week ago, but no matter.  I would prefer to pass history and theory.  I do not want to take a review theory class because that sounds horrendous.  Also, if I fail the history exam, I would have to take TWO semesters of history review.  And would count toward 2 out of my 3 history classes.  And I signed up for a Early Music Notation class, which would be my other history class.  I love history and do not want to "waste" my history credits on review classes.  I want to take something interesting and specific.  Because after conducting and education, history ranks up there with one of my passions in music.

So, let me talk briefly about Les Noces.   The Wedding by Stravinsky.  Svadebka in Russian.  I wish I loved Stravinsky, but have not been inspired by him.  Except this weird work.  I say "weird" because every time I listen to it, I think, "This is such an odd work."  But I love it.  I love the use of soloists and I love the punctuation of the percussion and I love how the choir is sometimes prominent but sometimes takes a backseat to instruments.  I hope I can gain more insight as to why I like it so much, because I lack the words.

Vulnerability

After lolly gagging all morning and part of the early afternoon, I am finally at a coffee shop to do some article review and studying.  Of course, this will happen after I write this blog post.

I am at my 9th coffee shop here.  I like the atmosphere here perhaps the best?  Or maybe because the baristas are very friendly.  The chai is not the yummy sweet kind, but it doesn't have some of the spicy after bite that the other places have had.  I have two more places to try in this town, I believe, plus two more up in the town where I work.  So far, the best chai that I remember is the kind I tried when I came here for my audition, although I haven't been back there since we moved here.  And there is a Starbucks next to the music area.  I make no apologies about liking Starbucks, by the way.  However, if possible, I prefer to support local coffee shops.

At any rate, not finding a chai I love is a good thing.  I will drink less chai and more tea, thus intaking less calories and probably spending less money.

Beethoven Mass in C.  That's on my iPod right now.  Excuse me, iPhone.  Is it assumed that all iPhones serve the function as a music player as well?

Recommendation: BBC Sacred Music series.  I watched the first four episodes.  The first one was about the Gothic Revolution.  Then the second episode, my favorite of the four, is about Palestrina and the church.  The third episode is about Thomas Tallis and William Byrd.  Then fourth episode, which I want to rewatch, is about Bach and the Lutheran legacy.  The next four episodes, which I believe are in their second series, include Faure and Poulence, Brahms and Bruckner, Gorecki and Part, and I believe the last episode is about modern sacred composers.

Let's talk about music, higher education, and professionalism for a moment.

Scenario one: You are a member of a graduate class talking about modern music.  The composer of the next presentation?  Whitacre.  A few graduate students have made snide remarks about his music in the past.  However, you are the presenter and are attempting to give a thorough understanding and listing of his music.  Needless to say, one graduate student feels the need to remark about his music.  Best course of action?

This was discussed last night with two new friends and future colleagues of mine.  This happened.  Both of them enjoy Whitacre's music.  The presenter in this story was describing their experience last night and when this happened at the end of the year, commented that many high school students who have experienced Whitacre have grown to love choral music because of his compositions.  They said, "I think I kept it professional and then I continued."

What would have I done?  I am certainly not a person who likes confrontation.  However, I feel that in the past two years, I have had to toughen up a bit when it comes to the strength of my opinion.  I am not sure what I would have done, but I doubt I would have been as cool as the presenter in the story.  But that begs the question: Is ignoring rude remarks about a composer professional?  I would have said something more, but I don't think it would have been unprofessional.  Or is engaging with the quipper considered unprofessional, even if they are an intelligent, thoughtful conductor themselves?  What is "professional" in this situation versus what is "passive?"

Next: Imagine you are a conductor of a collegiate ensemble or professor of a class.  How lightly do you tread as far as current events?  What do you allow to enter your teaching versus not?  I am not talking about standing up in front of a choir spouting off my political beliefs.  I am talking specifically about relating the music you are singing to current events, even if there might be people who have a political stance on an issue.  I think that is perfectly allowable, within reason.  To think that we can perform music with all it's vulnerability without ourselves experiencing emotions about what's going on in the world?  What a cold rehearsal.  I think it's wonderful to encourage the human experience in our world to affect the performance of music, which is written from the human experience.  I do not see that as unprofessional.  But I wonder if others do.

But then again, vulnerability often makes people uncomfortable.  And vulnerability is what you need in music.  So says Weston Noble, at least.  And I agree.

Allocation of Time

As things settle down into a routine, I find that I am at liberty to re-energize my routine.  I get to re-establish priorities and decide what my best options are and in the ways in which I work the best.

It may be because we do not have a kitchen table and chairs yet, but I have a difficult time finding a place to study where I can really focus.  However, that will change soon.

I played through some music today on our horrendously out-of-tune piano.  That will change as soon as I receive some recommendations for piano tuners in the area.  I revised my thesis for print.

Tomorrow I will head to my work and do some planning of the rest of the church year.

And review some theory for my placement exams.  Here is the big question now: I have heard the history test is very difficult.  Most people don't pass it and have to take remedial history.  So do I put a lot of time and effort into studying for it?

The Quest for the Perfect Chai...

I know I won't find a coffee shop like Polly's.  I have come to terms with that.  I have found some pretty cool locations, although none of them are as easily accessible as Polly's.  A few cool environments.  A few places I could go to and hang out and do work for a couple hours.

But alas, not one chai the way I like it.  I like sweet chai, which means it really is not a chai.  And even here in Iowa, apparently they want to make it like a real chai.  Spicy.  Maybe it's not extremely spicy, but it all has a spicy enough after bite.

I believe we have tried seven or eight coffee shops now in the area.  Looks like I'll have to go to a coffee shop for their teas and environment.

There are a few places I would like to check out, located in the town I will be working in.  Great!

I will be paying close attention to any coffee shops that will be opening.

Berlioz Requiem Moments

Let me talk about some moments in the Requiem.

Berlioz wrote some pretty heavy moments.  I'm going to try to decipher what a few of my favorite moments are at this point in my studies, which is just the beginning.

I love the first tenor entrance.  How difficult is that to keep in tune? (rhetorical question)  I love every time that motif comes back.

To do this piece, the men have to rock.  Truly rock.

I love the opening theme of the Dies irae.  It comes back often throughout the Requiem, but I like it.  I am sure I will learn more about the motif soon- especially because I'm about to embark on the research portion of the Requiem.

Then the four brass bands!  What a bombastic but thrilling touch!

So far, the theme that is the most likely to get stuck in my head is the Lacrymosa.  Even typing that makes me want to hum it.

And finally, my cheap Dover score says that the tenor solo is optional.  No, it is not.  The Sanctus creates the beauty of this Requiem.  The Sanctus is the place where the tears of beauty happen.  It is so beautiful.  The first time I heard it (when I was studying for my comp exam), I stopped what I was doing and just listened.  I breathed in the Sanctus.  Beautiful tenor solo.

Those are the moments.  This is a huge piece.

Slow Revisions, Berlioz Start

My revisions are slowly coming along.  I am now within the target word range of the article I am submitting for publication.  I wonder how much the editors will chop out.  Will it be printed "as is" or will they cross out a lot of things?  I say a lot in the paper and I hope that it's not a lot of words that are not concise.  I wish I had access to the rest of my research notes, but they are packed up in Iowa City.  If I get a chance to pull the notes out and revise one more time before I submit, I will.

I am reading a new book, since I finished the book about women in opera.  It's a baseball book.  Interesting, easy read.  I will also enjoy reading a book about choral stuff once this is finished.

I also think I'm going to start my study of Berlioz.  I have not finished Brahms, but the Berlioz is so huge and I need time to process and really understand the music.  So, over the next few days, I may try to get an easy start on Berlioz.  Some research, some listening, marking the big moments, understanding where the music is going... nothing crazy yet, but the beginning things that at least help me internalize the music.

So, expect some posts are Berlioz.

How I know I am in the Right Field...

Yesterday I had a realization.  I love what I do now more than what I have ever done before.

When I was teaching middle and high school, the summer would arrive and I would work to make money.  But other than that, I didn't think much about teaching.  I love teaching, but the summer would come and my goal was to run and do as many fun things as possible.  

It's different now.  Obviously, I still love doing fun things.  I do fun things as often as possible.  But it's the summer and I want to study music.  I want to continue to learn about and practice knowing music... choral/orchestral works.  I have plans to get through music this summer and have additional plans for this next school year.  That is what is different now.  I crave learning about music.

I know not everybody is as lucky as I am.  I have no idea why, as an 8th grader, I decided I wanted to conduct choirs.  Then, as a 9th grader, I had a conductor that was one of the most inspirational people in my life and I decided to model myself after him.  And I have stuck with this idea and this passion, minus a short blip in 2009 in which I was unsure if I wanted to continue in music in the public school system.  I realized that it was the system I was so frustrated at, and not the music or the teaching.

So, I am very lucky to have known what I have wanted to do since I was 13.  It's one of the biggest defining factors of my life.  It's one of the longest running.  

There was a time I thought of this strong passion as a hinderance.  If I didn't know what I wanted to do, I could explore other fields and become excited about other ideas.  I no longer think of it as a hinderance.  

All of this started from the difference between my summer this year and my summer three years ago.

Women in Opera Book

This book about women in opera is ridiculous.  Why keep reading it?  Because I have 40 pages left.  Why did I keep reading it?  Because I set a goal, and I keep my goals.

We all know (or maybe we don't... maybe I take it forgranted) that women are often cast in negative light or given weak characters in operas, especially many of the famous operas.  When they are, many people recognize it.  Very few people sit back and think, "Yes... cosi fan tutte.  Women are always like that."  

This book is interesting and brings up good points.  I agree with a lot of it.  I can't argue that often women in opera are used as props for the men to complete their story.  I appreciate the analysis of it all.  I love doing that kind of thing myself.  I also disagree with some of her points.  There are some connections she tries to make between operas and between myths about women that seem like quite a stretch.  

So let's say that you read this book and you understand what she writes about.  Let's say that you even live the emotion the author is sharing... how do you watch/listen to an opera?  If you are angry at the way women are represented, can you enjoy the music or the story?  Can it be beautiful and moving?  Probably, but I would personally have a difficult time striking that balance.  

All the characters have labels and many of stereotypical traits assigned to them.  And yes, it frustrates me at times.  But I can't be angry at Mozart for writing a certain story at a certain point in history from a certain social standing and gender role.  

I also wish she were more succinct.  

It's not a bad book, but some of the language makes me role my eyes.  Give me good analysis without the constant sarcasm.

Conducting Memes

I started reading a book... it's about women in opera.  I have two other books to read this summer- one about baseball (per John's request) and one about choral music.  At least one about choral music.  But first, to finish this book about women in opera... it's written by a woman who is a literary critic.  None of the ideas are shocking, but the book is a little difficult to read.  She writes like she speaks.  Like this. With periods.  Sometimes.  She writes in the first person many times and this can make things unclear.  The synopsis are succinct, however, the rest is not as clear.  

Tonight I do more revision.  Until "late."  I can do this!  As soon as I'm done looking at conducting memes.

Employment

I received the official offer from the church and sent back a signed offer letter today.  It's a quarter time position and the salary is decent.  It's not on the high end of the ALCM salary guidelines, but it is within the amount I would have hoped for- 10 hours a week, with a masters degree, and 9 years of experience.  Oh, apparently I also get two weeks of paid vacation?

Right now it's just director of music plus the choir.  They wanted to give me the option of the handbell choir, but didn't want to require it as they wanted to make sure I could have time for it.  They wanted things to be negotiable.  I start August 1!  Well, I am sure I will start before that, by writing letters, gathering information, meeting with the pastor, etc.  I have so many ideas and I am so excited.

I am most excited about the fact I will still have my own choir.  This is pretty exciting.  I am also excited I will get to work in a church.  I know it's not awesome every Sunday, but it is awesome on most Sundays.  It's music!  It's my own program!  It's people that want to sing and love to ring hand bells!

I will talk more about my ideas later.  Right now I should work on thesis revision.

But first!  I just have to state one more time that I am so excited about having my own program.  I love learning and I love school and all that comes with it, but I have missed being in charge of my own program.

Okay, off to continue some revision on my thesis for print...

Church and Journals

I received an e-mail back from the one church giving me feedback.  It was great and was something I can think about (one thing was brought up- and it was something I was already aware of).  Plus, the other finalist had more experience.

I also received an e-mail from the interim music director from the other church.  She said she wanted to let me know that I was going to receive an offer from them.  She said she was very impressed with my conducting ability and musicianship.  She wanted to notify me personally as sometimes the process is a little slow.  Even though this church is a longer drive, there are a lot of great things about the congregation, the way the music program is set up, and the flexibility I have.  I think the church is really hoping for energy and ideas.  Well, that's what I have!  I have already created a list of questions and started a list of ideas to implement.  I will have to do it slowly.  But I think this could be the start of something great.

So that's good news.

Other good news- I heard back from the woman who is co-editing the Choral Journal in the fall.  She read my thesis, wants to use a part of it, but I need to rewrite my thesis since they can't publish what's already been published.  So, when I am done with this entry, I need to rewrite my thesis.  Okay, so I probably won't get it all rewritten today, but I will work on it.  That's my goal in the next week.  

Now, if only Facebook will stop distracting me... 

News and Form

Bad news first.  I received a phone call from a church yesterday saying they have offered the position to someone else.  I have already sent off an e-mail asking them for feedback.  I had a great experience with them and the worst they can say is that they can't give me feedback.  When she called, she told me it was the most horrible decision they have ever had to make.  She said they thought I was so musical and so enthusiastic, warm.  She said the choir and committee were very split because they thought I was such a great candidate.  Ultimately they chose the other finalist.  I thanked her and she offered the church up if I ever needed a quiet place to study.  I was bummed, but sent a follow-up thank you e-mail for their time.  That's when I said, "Since I had such a great experience with you, I was wondering if it would be possible to get feedback from the audition/interview.  I would love to hear the priorities in your considerations.  I understand if the committee cannot do this, but I thought I could use it as a good learning and growing experience for me."  And then I thanked them again for their time.  Again, the worst they can say is that they cannot give me any feedback.

In other news, I sent a thank you e-mail to the other church as well.  The head of personnel e-mailed me back and said the choir enjoyed meeting me and were impressed with my ability.  They think I would be a great fit and in the next few days either he or the pastor would be getting in touch with me.  While this is not a job offer, it does bode well.  

I am reading through a very thorough dissertation about Gesang der Parzen.  I am taking my time reading and understanding.  All I am using it for currently is to understand some of the similarities of different moments.  These are moments that I have heard, but have not made note of until now.  Sometimes I wonder if it is cheating that I read this instead of doing some of the work myself, but there will be time for more analysis once I finish this reading (and another one I am going to read).  But, if someone else has done the work, why not read it?  I would want my master thesis/project report read.  

At any rate, Gesang der Parzen does not neatly fit into any form.  The section I am reading about now talks about form.  I look forward to reading about it, but will probably save some of it for the plane/airport tomorrow.  Some people have tried to say Gesang der Parzen was some form of Rondo, but this dissertation likens it more to a type of Sonata form.  I find Sonata form to be so... complex?  What I mean is, Rondo is fairly straight forward- Material A, new material, Material A, new Material... you keep hearing the same material come back.  But in Sonata form, with the expo and development, sometimes the thematic material gets lost through the changes (clarification: not really lost, but I find sometimes my ear does not hold onto the material unless I have heard it many, many times).  I am about to listen to Parzenlied with the idea of a Sonata in mind.  I think this form will make the most amount of sense to me.  Perhaps because Sonata form seems to lend itself to so many formulations... take Sonata form and tweak it a little and you have something new and crazy!  Plus, Parzenlied is set up like a mini choral-orchestral drama.  Yes, I think I like this idea of form for Parzenlied.

Clefs and Keys

Scene: At Polly's.  Drinking Chai.  Listening to ABBA.  Thinking about Brahms... and the fact that I have not heard from either church yet after my interview.  What if I do not get an offer from either place?  I definitely over think things.  Such as, "One of the churches had a council meeting on Tuesday night to discuss their appointment.  But I have not heard from them.  I probably will not receive an offer."  Well, I suppose we shall see.  And I need to remind myself that I cannot guess how others think or how the appointment process works in specific congregations.

Okay, so back to Brahms.  

I bought the Kalmus version of "Gesang der Parzen."  Mulitple clefs.  Even most of the vocal parts have different clefs.  I can read these, it's just a slower process.  This is fine, except when trying to analyze the thick textures that have offset rhythms.  I know I have to listen to it, but I like to do as much mental analysis as possible and give myself multiple options before I let my ear make a decision.  The mental work is slowed because of the multiple clefs, although even this isn't so bad.  The worst is when most of the parts are written in D minor, but one of the parts is in E minor and three others are written in A minor... I forget which direction to transpose (in undergrad, vocalists did not have to take any sort of instrumental classes, and it didn't seem to be something my orchestral class in grad school focused on).  If I think hard enough about it, I can figure it out, but it takes so long and it is difficult for my brain to hold onto.  And then, when I have talked about this with people before, nothing is more irritating than hearing, "It's easy!  Just think of it this way..." or "Just think up a fourth."  It's not a problem thinking of an intervalic relation, it's the knowing which direction to think... "if I'm an instrument playing in A minor but everyone else is in D minor, I'm playing up a fifth (or down a fourth) to get to their key... so to figure out how my notes fit in D minor, I need to transpose down a fifth or up a fourth.  Up a fourth?  Or down a fourth?  Ahhh, how do I get to D minor on paper?"

So, I came up with a solution, at least a temporary one, to understanding the chords.  I bought a vocal/piano reduced score.  I didn't do this at first because I felt like it was cheating.  I no longer feel this way... I'm not trying to prove anything by studying Brahms or Berlioz.  I'm trying to learn and love and understand this piece.  Plus I want to know what's going on in the piano reduction.  The other perk is that I can play it on the piano, instead of listening to recordings to help me determine some of the progressions.

But... off to look at Brahms.

Chai

Sitting in our fifth coffee shop.  Not the fifth coffee shop we have checked out today, but the fifth coffee shop we have checked out here in the past week.  Still, there is no chai like Polly's.  Or the Green House.  But I will try to survive.  The locations are cool and I can always order loose leaf teas.

I had an interview at a church last night and an interview at a different church tonight.  I know which church I would love to be hired at, but we shall see when all is said and done.  We woke up and went for a 4 mile run this morning.  It became humid near the end of the run, but it still was a pretty good run on one of the bike paths here.  We also went to a park near our new apartment- it was huge and there are many trails!  I think both John's parents and my mom would love to visit and walk around that park.

Once tonight is done, I get to spend some focused time on Brahms this week.

An Article that Scares

I would like to read this book... this article hits on some of my biggest fears about career and family.

http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2013/06/06/new-book-gender-family-and-academe-shows-how-kids-affect-careers-higher-education

John and I have had this conversation multiple times.  My first desire in my life was not to have a family, but to have my career.  While this prioritization has changed, I am still passionate about having a successful, fulfilling career and a family.  But there is so much guilt that goes along with this.  And I have met plenty of people who think I will "change my mind" or cast judgement on me for my desire to make my career a high priority.  But I am not going to school to pass time until we have children.  I am certain we can make it work.

Apartment Found?

Sitting in a coffee shop (this is a theme, no?), listening to Brahms, spent some time on an octavo for an audition/interview happening next Monday evening, will spend some time on Brahms study too.  John is across from me, doing some job stuff.  And some fun stuff.

The music I am working on for the audition/interview is "Glory of the Father" by Hovland.  Then I have to pick a piece yet.  I should get a few options in the mail today and then I can make a decision.  I am debating between "Gloria" from Heiligmesse by Haydn, "Hark I Hear" arranged by Alice Parker, "Zion's Walls" by Aaron Copland, and "Psalm 100" by Rene Clausen.  Depending on when you ask me, I am leaning toward all four pieces.  I have a half an hour to do warm-up, the Hovland, and the piece I am teaching.  I think I might do the Parker arrangement, since I believe it captures people, plus it's easy to find success early on in the process.  I want the choir to leave with the music in the head (and hearts).  This one probably has the best chance of working it's way their quickly.  I love the Haydn, but I'm not sure if it's one I should use for a church audition.  "Zion's Walls" has some wonderful moments, but there are some chords I'm not sure the choir would find success on without a lot of support (and more than 10/15 minutes).  "Psalm 100" is an awesome piece, but I am not as familiar with the SATB arrangement.  The SSA arrangement is great and I am worried the SATB arrangement will not sit as well in the voices.  I guess we'll see when I get the music.

I also have an interview on Tuesday night for another church.  I love the fact my interviews include making music with people.

Thanks for the Memories

Sitting at Polly's for the last time living here.  I am sure I will be back and I will certainly visit Polly's.  This coffee shop has been such a great place for me.  I have spent countless hours here studying, working, lounging, talking, and enjoying the things that Long Beach has to offer.  I have met new friends here and had good conversations about the Vikings, politics, and music.  I have had 7 hour days here (although, never intentionally and I always felt bad about staying so long) and have stopped in for a chai on my walk to the bus stop.  Lots of my center has come from Polly's.  Is that odd?  It doesn't matter.  The coffee shop has meant a lot to me.  The baristas have become a familiar community.  The customers have become friends.  It has been a great time.

It has been an emotional and difficult few weeks.  I graduated yesterday, which was awesome, but I also said good bye to some of my closest friends.  Many things have happened (many of them awesome) and I do not feel ready to leave.  But leave I must.  

I plan on doing some real score study.  I have wanted to score study in the past two weeks but have not had the time.  The next few weeks?  It's a priority.  

I have truly been so blessed by my friends here, this group of intelligent, passionate people.  And thank goodness I enjoy staying in touch with people.  And this group of people in particular- they are my friends, my colleagues, and at times have been an inspiration.  Have I said how blessed I am?

There are many exciting things coming up in the future.  But first?  We are stopping in either Vegas or St. George tonight.  And maybe I'll get some Brahms study in.

Past Entry

Last week I wrote this entry, but it never posted?

I picked up my cap, gown, and hood today.  Wow.

I sang in my last jury here at school today.  I have one final to take.  Two to give.

I am so excited about graduating, about becoming a "master."

I am also excited about personal, fun score study.  Brahms's Gesang der Parzen and Berlioz's Requiem.  Those are the first two things I am going to study.

Changing Experiences

I had an experience in Women's Chorus last night.  Well, I had a lot of experiences, but I also  had an experience that I have never had before.  Let me set up the scene: My choir has been working hard all semester.  They are singing over twice the amount of music than they normally do and the music is some of the toughest music some of them have ever sung.  It certainly is some of the toughest music the Women's Chorus has ever done.  We are premiering a piece that is 9 minutes long.  It's tough.  And one thing I worry about is that the music they are more familiar with is "old" to them.  It can be difficult to keep energy and love in music that someone gets used to.  So close to the end of rehearsal, when the women are exhausted after thinking hard and singing a lot (not to mention it's a Monday night at 9:30 PM), we pulled out a piece they were very familiar with.  In fact, they have sung it at a concert before.  They start on a unison note and and give a slight, slow crescendo.  The first time they did it, it was fine.  In fact, to be honest, many conductors would probably not ask them to make it better- because most conductor's are nicer and won't make their singers work hard throughout all of the almost 3 hour long rehearsal.  But I asked them to do it again and to bring the dynamic level back, to compress their sound but keep the same intensity.  And they did it.  And it was so unbelievably moving.  I have sung in groups and been moved.  I have listened to live concerts of other groups and been moved.  I have been in front of my group and been proud of their singing, and even impressed with their singing.  But I have never stood in front of a group I am conducting and been so moved.  In that one simple note, that one commitment to good singing, that one expressive moment... it was so beautiful.

How did it happen? I think it comes from multiple things.  An audience cannot be moved simply by soulful singing.  Singing just because you love it with no other guiding factor often makes for a sloppy performance especially in a choir.  But if you focus just on technique, the music has no heart. What happened in that moment, when I was so moved on this unison note blossoming to the next higher dynamic level... what happened is that the women were supporting their sounding, they were listening to their "sisters" and singing the same note while aligning their vowel, they intentionally had a beautiful color, and they sang with passion, with intentionality.  And it was stunning.  If everything else in the choir is "good," but we still have that stunning moment, I will be pleased.  I wish all of you could have heard it.  Everyone deserves to have those moments.  Because everyone deserves to hear good music.

I thought that change would get easier as I aged.  I have never been afraid of change.  In fact, I have often been excited about change and barreled head first into it.  My mom has often mentioned how much I jam in my life and how many plans I have for it.  In a way, I thin one of the reasons I love John is because he is opposite of me in that way- while he will keep himself busy, he will also slow down and take time when he needs to.  He will say, "I need to stay in this weekend."  My dearest and longest friend, Heather, is also similar.  Until I married John, she had been my connection to "tradition."  She values routine and tradition, having consistent friends in a stable area.  When I need to remind myself of "me," she was the person I connected with.  John also provides that same sense of being grounded.  He values tradition and is not always a huge fan of change.  As I said at the beginning of this paragraph, I have always welcomed change.  But as excited as I was to start my masters, moving out this far was a little bit harder than my move to Wisconsin from Arizona.  Every move has been a little tougher.  I now know that, despite good intentions, I won't stay in touch with most of my friends.  I believe there will be a small number I will- and mainly because we are connected through our profession.  I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop, and I know I have a limited number of visits.  I like my coffee shop.  It is so very special to me.  I have spent so much time here studying and working.  I like running on the beach.  I like the social things I have done this year (much more than last year and even my time in Madison- when I had the smallest amount of friends nearby than I have had at any other point in my life).  I am extremely excited about our move to Iowa.  I look forward to starting my DMA program.  I look forward to exploring California in the next few weeks.  I will be so happy to be closer to family and many of my Midwest friends.  But moving away from my friends here- when I think about how likely it is I won't see most of these wonderful people again- is difficult.  

I think one of the reasons leaving here will be so difficult is because I have made music with many of them.  And it was good music.  When you truly form that community, it is tough to leave.  

I have been very lucky.  I have good people in my life.  It is so odd to feel so excited about something, yet so sad to see my current situation end.  I would not want to stay here, I don't think.  Life would change and I do not see life changing in a way that would be extremely fulfilling to stay here.  

The point is... change is just as real as it was when I was younger, but I seem to understand the realities of it a little better.  It's good and it's sad.  But if I was not bummed to leave, then it would have meant my time here was not well spent.  

Results and Next Steps

Well, the results are in.  I passed my comprehensive literature exam.  I really was nervous about it.  The first listening example threw me for a loop, and I did not know the answer.  I thought for sure I would recognize most of the pieces and the first four I did not recognize.  I almost started crying.  I briefly dreamed about flipping the exam over and walking out.  Yes, I get that stressed out.  It seemed as if my colleague was having an easy time with it.  I thought I was doomed.

Turns out that Mike, my colleague, was also nervous and questioning the examples we were hearing.  But I did not know that until after the exam was completed.

At any rate, starting with example 5, I recognized the rest (7 of them).  That was a breeze.  There were 5 score ID after that.  One of them I made an educated guess, but immediately after the exam was done, realized that it was not right.  It was a large romantic work- and I guessed Berlioz Requiem.  But that was not true.  Although the orchestration was huge, the women were not in unison, which they are the majority of the time in his Requiem.  I thought maybe Verdi, but the line writing seemed a little late.  I thought it could have been Beethoven, but I ended up guessing Berlioz.  I literally woke up the next morning and immediately thought, "It was Beethoven!  From Missa Solemnis.  The Gloria.  The ending."

At any rate, I earned an A on my comprehensive exam.

And my thesis was approved.  So soon I will pick that up from the library and pay for the printing and publishing.

In a week from today is my recital.  That should be fun!  I am feeling positive and focused about rehearsal tonight.  We have quite a bit to get done.

This is the oddest concert I have ever had.  We are doing so much music (over twice the amount we normally do).  We are premiering a piece that was written specifically for us.  That is not officially a part of my recital set.  We are having four outside soloists/singers come in to give more support on the premiere.  We have percussion.  And I am so proud of my women for all the work they have done, but it may be the very middle-of-the-road.  It is not their fault- I probably should not have done my recital with them.  It's a lot to ask of a group of mainly non-music majors who meet only once a week.  I wish I had more time with them.  And I think I will battle with the quality- I hope I am not too disappointed... but if I am, it won't be in them.  It will be in my own planning.  The problem is I just can't address everything in a way that will stick with the singers.  In the end, I will be proud of them... they have worked harder this semester than ever.

We have started packing.  I think we have 4 or 5 boxes packed.  It's not a lot and it's just books, but our hope is to pack up a little bit this week before visitors this weekend.

I was asked to join the Pi Kappa Lambda Music Honor Society.  Great!

One more thing- I need to buy my "black glam" outfit for the Rolling Stones concert I am singing in.  Woo!  Also... I am debating, should I buy a new recital outfit?  I think I would like to, but I do not have a lot of time.

Last pre-test

I have decided I like Bryn Terfel singing in Elijah.

Self testing is going okay.  More successful earlier today.  Now not so much.

Here are the pieces I want to spend more time on when this test is done (other than Brahms.  That's a given): Dvorak's Stabat Mater.  Both of Bach's Passions and his Magnificat.  Mozart's Mass in C and his Vespers.  Stravinsky's Les Noces.  Faure's Requiem.  Cherubini Requiem.  Janacek's Glagolitic Mass.  Harmoniemesse by Haydn.  The only full score I have for any of those is Brahm's Gesang der Parzen, so that's the first thing I am studying this summer.

I went back and wrote dates for all the composers and compositions.  I didn't do poorly, except for Berlioz.  I was off by like 25 years there.  And I had one weird "WTF, Shannon?" moment earlier today when I confused a loud movement from The Seasons with Verdi.  But other than that, I have either been right or close to right in my studying and testing of myself.  I am giving myself lots of encouragement and room for a few slip ups, otherwise I'll start overthinking everything and thus make silly mistakes.

Self testing now.

Handel.  1685-1759.  Messiah- last revisions in 1754.  Often would change keys of arias and give to new soloists and voices.  Popular in London.  Messiah performances were just about annual until 1784.  I believe they have begun again.  Light orchestration.  Uses a continuo.  In 3 parts: Advent/Christmas, Passiontide/Easter, Ascension and Pentecost.  Charles Jennens is the text compiler.  I could tell you which part most of the arias/choir pieces fell, as long as I know the words.

Elgar.  Dreams of Gerontius- completed in 1899, premiered in 1900.  There is an alto, tenor, and bass soloist.  Gerontius is a tenor.  It is in two distinct parts- one as Gerontius is dying and the second part is him on his way to purgatory.  The title role is a huge tenor solo.  The piece that came up on Spotify was in the second part.  He had just seen God and is telling the angel to take him away to purgatory.  It's close to the end.  Forgot his dates- had to look it up- 1857-1934.

Haydn. 1732-1809.  Harmoniemesse.  It's in Bb.  Helmuth Rilling does a great recording of this.  It's a mass written/premiered in 1802 for Esterhazy.  It was the last of his six masses for them.  The Gloria, which is I think the section that came up, is full of fanfare at the beginning.  I forgot that he quotes himself in the last movement (he quotes "Be Gracious" from The Seasons).

Ralph Vaughan Williams.  1872-1958.  Sancta Civitas.  1923-25 is when it was written.  Solo violin, which is plaintive, gave this movement away.  Based on the story of Babylon, text from Revelations.  Sung in English.  VW is a very English composer... there is a sound he has to him that reminds me of England.

Another Bach piece game up.  A passion.  Sounds like an earthquake.  Let me look... yup, St. John Passion.

Bach b minor mass.  Taken from pieces he wrote his whole life.  He did not give it the title of B minor mass.  Final touches were put on it in 1748.  He put it together as a sort of CV.  It was never performed in his lifetime, but the earliest comes from Weimar material in... 1717?  No, 1714 (I had to look that up to double check).

Dallapiccola.  1904-1975.  Songs of Captivity (Canti di prigionia).  1938 was when the first movement was written.  1940 and 41 were the second two, respectively.  Taken from prayers from Mary Stuart, Boethius, and... Salmalskjdflsomeone.  Dallapiccola had an experience simliar to being captive (his family was moved to Graz because, despite being Italian, his family was considered politically subversive.

Cum Sancto Spiritu.  Fugue.  Mozart.  Haydn?  No, Mozart.  But it sounds something like Haydn, I just don't recognize it as Haydn.  And there it is, it doesn't sound like Haydn right there (yes, I am listening to it as I type).  Mass in C by Mozart.  He wrote in for his wife and in celebration of their marriage, although it's half finished.  Completed in 1783.  Mozart 1756-1791.

Brahms.  1833-1897.  German Requiem.  1868.  Inspired perhaps by the death of his mother and/or Schumann.  So beautiful.  One of the most people works I have heard.  I try to avoid listening/studying Brahms, despite the fact he is on my exam.  Otherwise, I will spend hours listening.  7 movements.  Brahms compiled the text himself.  He really liked Cherubini's Requiem in C (so do I!) and thus used no violins like him in the first movement.  Only the second movement uses full orchestra.

Bach Magnificat.  1723 was in Eb.  Later, sometime between 1728-31, put in D major and revised the text (taking out Christmas texts).

Haydn.  One of his oratorios.  My guess is the Seasons based on the text (1801)

Franz Schmidt.  Das Buch mit sieben siegln?  In English it's The Book with the Seven Seals.  1937 composed.  Based on Revelations.  Music really punctuates the text.  20th Century, but is tonal, very romantic.  Oratorio.  One soloist- a tenor- Saint John.  Two parts plus a prologue.  He died in 1939, two years after the piece was written.  I had to look up his birth year: 1937.

Haydn.  Creation.  1798.

Dvorak.  1841- 1904.  Stabat mater.  1877, premiered 1880.  My first inclination was to say some English composer, but the text is Latin (and I thought I recognized it from the Stabat mater) plus the music is gorgeous and tonal, plus I recognize it as a piece I love.  Hence, Dvorak.  It was his first religious piece.  Wrote the Stabat mater during his Russian period.  Brahms assisted his career.  Stabat mater was in 10 movements.  Fairly transparent orchestration.

Michael Tippett.  Early 1900s to 1998?  A Child of our Time.  1942.  Based on a story about a young man who shot a German official in a different country and caused Krystallnacht (spelling?).  An oratorio.  Tippett tried to make it like a Bach cantata.  For the chorales he used spirituals.  Kind of interesting!  Yes, his dates were 1905 to 1998.

Leos Janacek.  1854-1928.  Glagolitic Mass.  1926.  Wrote it and his Czech audiences loved it.  It has some folk type melodies.  I love the opening fanfare (a descending fourth, descending fifth, up a fifth).  Used organ.  It's in slavonic, so I don't actually recognize the words, but one of the main themes that the choir sings sounds like the worlds "Hobby lobby."

War Requiem 1961.  Benjamin Britten wrote this for Soprano, tenor, and bass soloist, boy choir (which always sounds distant), and SATB choir.  Dedicated to some friends that died in WWII.  There are two texts- one by Owens who wrote poetry in response to his experience in WWI (which is what the two men soloists sing) and the other text is the Mass for the Dead text.  This work, as well as Peter Grimes, were the two pieces that really put him on the international map.  An important tritone here is F# and C.

Carl Orff. 1895-1982.  Carmina Burana (1935-36).  Latin, German type of language?  Short movements.  Dance based, tried to make it feel like the text.

Berlioz.  1803-1869.  Requiem.  1837.  Dies irae, I recognize the opening cello line.  Written originally for the French government as a revolution commemoration.  Ended up being canceled but it was used for the funeral of a French officer, I think?  Berlioz was French guy but considered anti-establishment so was not as loved by all in the government.  Huge orchestration and vocal forces.  Plus there is a really cool tuba mirum with 4 brass groups.  Women are often in unison and men are often in divisi.

Stravinsky 1892-1971.  Mass.  Started in 1944, finished in 1948.  Five movements.  He was disappointed that it was not used much in liturgical use, because he wrote it for liturgical use.  The orchestration is rather light and clear.  The melodies are often chant-y.  He wrote because he wanted, not because of commission.

Okay.  I pass, right?  Just going to go try to come up with some distinguishing Beethoven and Verdi ideas so I can recognize them quicker.  I just don't want to get so caught up in thinking about all the music in the same way.  That makes is more difficult for me to know which piece it is.

Graduate Literature Exit Exam

Last day of studying.  Yester evening I listened to the beginning of all pieces and went over dates.  Today, I will create a date list from memory (composers and their composition completion and premieres).  Then I will go back and fill in what's important and/or distinctive about the piece.  I wish I had started all this intense studying earlier.  Why did I wait?  I should have been doing all this studying last summer.  Then I would be completely at ease today.  Okay, I'm joking.  I would not be at ease today even if I had studied this intensely for the past two years.

Let me recap where I am at: I feel comfortable enough with my knowledge when John asks me questions or tests me.  I could tell you most dates of the compositions and their premieres.  I could tell you some odd instrumentation.  I recognize some important melodies (although I can't put a name to all of them).  I know what the pieces are about and/or what inspired them.

What I want to solidify today: Dates of composers (although I have a general idea of each of them, I miss the exact years sometimes).  Some specific composer tricks (for example, Britten's War Requiem includes an important F# to C tritone that comes back often in the piece or Dallapiccola intones the "Dies irae" in this Canti di Prigionia while above that is his 12-ton rows).  Identify a few more specific relations between pieces (quotations, borrowed technics, etc).  And I want to become a little more comfortable with identify Beethoven Missa Solemnis (don't judge me- the beginning of his Credo is more Classical and by the end it's clearly not.  So I get confused.  Although thankfully I recognize the Credo theme), Berlioz Requiem (although here, if I can just remember the women are rarely in divisi and the men are almost always in 4 part divisi, I should be fine...), Mendelssohn Elijah (although I recognize specific movements, I have yet to feel comfortable identifying anything as Mendelssohn... although what other piece uses that sounds vaguely like a Handel or Bach oratorio but with clear, light texture of the Classical period with the at times highly emotional moments?).

I guess after the exam I will know if I should celebrate or not.