Warrior Today

Today, we are Warriors! We run at 4 PM, which is later than we originally wanted, but is fine since it takes an hour and a half to drive there. We're going to make a stop at Goodwill and buy a pair of shoes for me that I can get muddy. I filled out the waiver form this morning- they aren't liable for deaths, infections, we have to be prepared for things like mud, barbed wire, fire, jumping in water, cargo nets, climbing, and heights. It sounds like fun!

I also listened to Mozart Requiem yesterday. It's fascinating to know what he did compose and what he didn't. What an odd thing, for one of his most famous pieces to have been only partly composed by him. The book I use to go along with the masterworks had some strong opinions about the different versions of the Requiem, who did it right, it was dumb about their writing, and what Sussmyar really could have written versus what he "must" have received from Mozart as instruction. I also happen to like the Requiem because it doesn't seem unbearable long.

The masterworks that I will study and follow the rest of the semester: Rachmaninoff "The Bells", Stravinsky's "Wedding" and "Persephone", A Bach cantata, Berlioz's Requiem, and Haydn's "Seasons" oratorio. Rachmaninoff and the Bach Cantata (80) will be easy, as I will be conducting those in lessons and will be spending MUCH time with both of them. Well, at least time in the next 6 weeks.

Tomorrow is going to be another hard-hitting homework day: At least one more master works, more vocal solo memorization, conducting, planning the women's choir rehearsal, and maybe some more research for my thesis. I really want as much "free" time as possible when John's parents come to visit, so this next week is going to be very focused as well so I have less homework to take me away from time with them.

10k Conquered

I just ran my first 10k! I actually ran 6.5 miles. After I had ran for about 5 miles, I could tell I wasn't used to running over 5 miles. But it was great! My knees are a little sore, but I have read that sore joints often are a result of not being used to it.

On the agenda today: Study a new masterwork called "Das Buch Mit Sieben Siegeln" by Franz Schmidt. That should be interesting! Tomorrow I will begin studying the Mozart Requiem. Also on the agenda, I hope to stop by the CSU library to pick up a copy of Stravinsky's Wedding score and the Seasons by Haydn. I'm waiting on the library to receive Berlioz's Requiem and Persephone by Stravinsky. I love the library. I will conduct, although probably later. I will also take some notes, do some research on Strozzi's first book of madrigals. I may pick John up from the airport and we might do dinner in LA.

Baked Potatoes and a Massage

I studied Le Roi David today. A couple hours of research, an hour of listening. I'll do another choral work tomorrow. I will also IPA another French song, conduct, try to memorize my vocal solos, and perhaps even do some research on my master thesis!

I was conducting Belshazzar's Feast today (like I tend to do) and noticed that all the "weep" words are on descending lines. I can't believe I didn't pick up on that earlier. The Walton character- he was a clever fellow! Descending lines on the word "weep" is supposed to symbolize weeping- tears falling.

4 Song Concert

Tonight I sing in a concert. We only sing 4 songs and the rest of the music is done by the other group on campus and a community boys choir. Should be a solid concert. We had our dress rehearsal today and there was this awful humming noise- that was just shy of an F# (or at least an F# that the piano gives us). It was horrible. Needless to say, the Palestrina-style premiere we are doing tonight which starts in G ended in F# during rehearsal. I hope it gets fixed. My voice is close to useless in much of the range we sing in for that piece (it's a new setting of the Ubi Caritas text), but with it down a half step, I really don't have any power. It feels awful.

However, I am optimistic that it is fixed!

I went for a 3 mile run today (a bit of a "relaxed" run, compared to my 5.5 mile run yesterday). And tomorrow morning? Off to spring training. There will be pictures.

100 days

All my academic classes are done- at least until after spring break. That is pretty exciting! We have choir today, a long dress rehearsal tomorrow, and a concert tomorrow night. But singing is fun and making music is fulfilling, so it really feels like an early spring break.

My conducting lesson was cancelled yesterday. I was a little bummed, but I also know how busy things are this time of year- and they get busier. My voice lesson went well, and diction was fine.

There might be some neat things in the works for next year, but I will say things if/when things are more final.

There was graduate student audition this past Monday. She did very well and I think her plan is to come here next year as long as she gets some money. I spoke with her afterwards and she seemed very on top of her game.

Today, our wedding is 100 days away.

Generosity

We had our benefit concert last night. It was very successful! The ladies sang well and we raised almost $600 for United Way.

After we finished "Famine Song", I heard someone say, "That was beautiful." After we sang "Good News", I heard someone exclaim, "What a group!" John said the girls sound 10 times better now than they did first semester, and that he thought they sounded good first semester. I was very proud of them. I thought they did a great job. The parts that they could have done better on were simply because we ran out of time and I didn't have the efficient means of helping them. Overall, I am very pleased.

Megadeath concert

This morning I woke up and didn't feel like going to school. And I think I figured out why. Most of my free time involves school. When I am not at school, I am either doing homework, practicing, or feeling guilty that I am not using my time for school. I have not established boundaries yet ("this is school time, this isn't school time"). When I was teaching, I would get really busy, but I also knew how to draw lines. Now it is much more difficult. I would like to go to an Avett Brothers concert. I would like to read a book for fun or read Women's Health magazine without feeling like I should be studying a large choral piece. The only time I do not feel guilty is when I am doing wedding planning with John. I am looking forward to spring break- to catch up studying large choral works and to get ahead on some other stuff. I suppose this is just how school is, but it is not who I am. This is not a schedule I will carry with me to my next job.

With that attitude, I went to my voice lesson. It went well, and at the end, my voice teacher and I chatted about music. I told him I went to a Guns n Roses cover band- and he was ecstatic! He loves GnR. I also found out that two weeks ago he went to a Megadeath concert. My hope in being a normal person when school is done is now restored. Discovering that about my teacher made my day.

*An addition from later: I also had a decent conducting lesson. The day ended up being great! My teacher was very encouraging at the end of my lesson. I am certainly working a lot harder this semester than last in my conducting. But that's okay. Since I took today off of working out, I walked to church (3 miles). Afterwards I grabbed tea with a friend and she dropped me off at home (so no worries, mom, I didn't walk home in the dark).

A glance into my programming

Rehearsal tonight went well.

Women started off by running their concert program, based on hope. "Adiemus" was first, the women's first time with recorder and percussion. We ran it once just so the women could get used to the new instruments. Then we sang it again as a part of the rest of our set (without stopping between songs). "Adiemus" opens the program and introduces the audience to a world that is yearning, a world that is hopeful, oscillating between d minor and D major, but ending with D major. Next is "Regina Coeli"- which the women sang solidly, although the dynamics were mezzo-mezzo. I don't know if we really understand the essence of the piece- it's joyful nature, it's hope in the resurrection (or whatever else they choose to put hope it). From A major we head back to D major and "Lift Thine Eyes". When the women are in tune (sopranos floating high enough on the final chord) and when they truly sing the dynamics ("Thy keeper will never slumber" is pianissimo sopranos, with the same dynamic entrance for the rest of the group... they did it tonight and it was moving), the song is inspiring. Here we sing about knowing where our hope comes from- in the song it refers to the Judeo-Christian God, but we acknowledged it could be from many things- friend, family, an important relationship, music, nature, etc. But what about those times when hope is hard to find? That's when we sing "Famine Song". It's supposed to be in g minor, but we moved it to g# minor so the altos didn't have to sit quite as low. Here is a song about a drought in Sudan, and about a group of women coming together and praying, hoping for rain. In the meantime, they encourage their friends and their children to weave baskets so they still have a source of food. The women truly sing this song beautifully and it is evident they are moved by this song. The song ends with a soft but intense cluster chord and light sounds of rain (snapping fingers) coming from the choir. To Eb major and the relief, we have "Good News", a spiritual with a joyful solo about music being with us always, and isn't that good news?

After the women's set, the combined choirs sing "Choose Something Like a Star" which I have the privilege to conduct, and "Harvester's Song", conducted by my colleague.

Benefit Week

What I have learned about being sick in grad school: I can't afford to be sick. Now, in all fairness, I started to feel better (although not 100%) on Friday morning- which was also a 13 hour day for me at school since we had a choral festival to put on. And then John and I went to a Guns 'n' Roses cover band and didn't get home until 2:30. I had a "lazy" day yesterday, but am still tired today. My brain seems to be moving slower and it's a lot harder to get motivated to kick butt on homework today. And wow was it hard to wake up today. Happy daylights savings, eh?

So, I just turned on some early music and as soon as I am finished writing this blog I am going to do some research for a paper I need to do and then I am going to conduct, and perhaps speak through my French recitative for voice lessons.

And if I have time, I plan to listen to Benjamin's War Requiem today. I'm falling behind in my study of mass pieces, which means I will have to play catch up over spring break. I'm not extremely behind- just a week.

Concert week this week!

Terrible Patient

I hate being sick. Because I hate it so much I often don't spend the time I need to get better. This sickness is a little different, as I don't have a really runny nose. I have a lot of junk sitting on my vocal folds, and very little of it seems to be shaking loose when I cough. I always worry I am going to get pneumonia again. I have had it twice in my adult life (once when I was 22 and once when I was 25). When I was 25 they kept me in the hospital overnight- I was a terrible patient. I was up at 5:00 AM strolling around asking when the doctor could sign me out. I got cranky, although I felt bad for being cranky. At any rate, this doesn't quite feel like pneumonia did- the previous two times I got pneumonia I would get pounding headaches and when I would cough I could feel my heart rate shoot up. This just feels like there is junk in my chest.

The rest of this morning will consist of studying and preparing music.

Keep you honest

Yesterday my teacher said something interesting. He told me that for ten years he has been hoping to get an assistant director. He thinks he is getting to the point where he doesn't know how to teach the secondary choir any more. At first I was skeptical. But the more I thought about, the more it makes sense to me that this is something he is frustrated with. He is still learning and growing (because we always are) and his ears have adjusted to hear very specific things. Then he stands in front of my choir and he doesn't know where to start. Now, yes, teaching is teaching no matter the level. But I think he views himself as more of a shaper of music than a teacher. I'm am not saying I agree or disagree with this, merely stating what I observe. Not to mention, he just spent a week with his chamber group, performing at a very high level.

I hope I don't ever lose my ability to teach. I think it is important to adjust to the group, but I believe that is more about recognizing what to listen for. I will listen for different things in a middle school group than I will my women's choir, and then different things when I'm in front of the chamber group.

But it begs the question: If you only work with one level of group, does your ability to work with other levels disappear or just become rusty?

My friend Austen sent me an e-mail in response to the above story. In it, he said that one of the St Olaf directors (he's an Ole grad) conducts the touring choir at Olaf, as well as the non auditioned women's choir and a community middle school boys choir. This director said "it keeps him honest". I couldn't agree with that more.

I have my lessons today... we'll see how it goes, as my throat is a mess. The convention in Reno was fun, but the hotel/casino where we stayed was full of smoke. Not awesome for my vocal health.

This is what we do

As a person who is now conducting a college choir, I have become aware I am in front of future conductors. Where does someone learn how to teach while conducting? Perhaps in an education class during college... Perhaps through experience (although not having a real idea how to teach when you first step in front of a choir is a rough way to learn- all students should have at least some idea how to set things up), but many conductors will learn from the conductors they have had. I don't know how much one will remember from their younger years- maybe they had a great middle school or elementary teacher who was creative and sequential. I doubt the future teacher will remember all the creative lesson and rehearsal plans of their teachers from childhood- although I am certain many future educators were affected positively by these teachers. Maybe they will remember something of their high school directors. But once the student knows they want to be a conductor, they start paying attention to how their conductor does their job. So this is what we do- not just shape sound and not simply wave our arms and hopefully inspire and help singers communicate and learn about the world- but also give future teachers some tools to use. This is one of the reasons I feel strongly about my future career. I was tossing around the idea yesterday about teaching high school again when I am done with my masters. I do miss it, I am good at it, and I enjoy it. But overall, I look forward to being able to work with future teachers, to guide them, to help this discover the joys of teaching and how to combat the frustrations... And ultimately I hope more people will love music because of this.

Reno has been fine. Well, the conference has been good. Reno itself is not a place I will probably care to hang out in again.

I have had many conversations I hope to blog about: mentoring, being a successful woman conductor (balancing family and a career- and having a supportive spouse!), writing an article (potentially) for the Choral Journal and the process of that, music from Cuba or music from Latin America, hearing about the choral field and competition, meeting people from schools I am looking at for my DMA, apps and web based applications for teaching, and more! It was good.

I am still in Reno. The conference is over and most people have left. I fly out early tomorrow morning- 6 am! I was out really late the past two nights so I will be in bed early tonight. I met some really great people, including people I think I will hang out with back in So Cal. I also had dinner with a few Luther alums, one of whom I greatly admire. I met her friend who is now director of choral activities at a Cali university and he was really nice too. They were the ones who kind of gave me an idea of salaries in my field, as well as some of the competitiveness.

So tonight, I am sitting in a hotel room in Reno, playing cribbage online against John and trying to get some stuff done so I have some time tomorrow when I get back. It is a bit of a bummer not to be home, but it is really nice to be away from a smokey casino and noisy people.

Reno

I am in my hotel room in Reno. None of my roommates are here yet, but all of them will be soon. I went to the ecumenical service tonight. It was nice.

There are slot machines in the airport. It is strange to see. I am not much of a gambler. I know some of the people here want to go (in fact, many are in the casino connected to the hotel right now). Working out, reading, making music are all more appealing to me than gambling, but I suppose I will go one night. To be social. Although, how social is gambling, really? Sometimes I feel like such a curmudgeon.

I left the apartment at about 8:45 this morning. My flight was scheduled to leave at 1:25 and I wanted to give myself plenty of time on public transit to get there. Google maps told me almost two and a half hours. I got to the airport at 10:30. Security line was long but quick. When I got through, it was 11 am. I checked my flight- delayed until 3:15. So I spent quite a bit of time at the airport. It was a bit of a long travel day.

Hotel room is fine. Lots of lights outside. Many restaurants inside- but no continental breakfast! I went to the nearest Walgreens and bought some food for the hotel room. I will eat out, but if I can save a few bucks on some meals, I will. I ate dinner from that food tonight and plan on eating part of breakfast and all of lunch from it tomorrow.

I really like these conventions.

Oh, and it is "cold". Low of about 20 tonight. High of low 40s tomorrow. But then it will be in the 50s. I am bundled when I got outside. I forgot how invigorating cold can be, as long as it is not too cold.