Lessons

I had my fourth conducting lesson and second voice lesson of the semester yesterday.  I'm a little behind in voice lessons- as I missed the first two Fridays of school (one for a wedding and one for Chamber Choir retreat).  

First, my voice lesson!  I received my repertoire last week.  Here it is:  Two Schubert pieces (Suleika and Wanderers Nachtlied), a Debussy piece (I can't remember the title- it sits a little low, but it'll be good for me to work on not letting my voice sit back), two Quilter pieces (Weep no more Sad Fountains and another one I don't remember), Steal Me Sweet Thief, and Norina's Aria from Don Pasquale.  I have been working on all of them (a little too broadly... I probably should have focused on just two or three of them).  In my lesson this week, we started looking at Norina's Aria.  High Cs are going to be fine.  I thought we would start with German, but I guess my excitement for the aria was so evident we jumped right in!  Next week there is a masterclass at 4 PM on Friday.  I will sing In Uomini.  While I have already done this rep multiple times, it's all I really have prepared and memorized.  Plus, as my teacher brought up, we can still address things that will carry over to other pieces.  

Second, my conducting lesson: I love it when the accompanist in the lessons said, "That was nice."  Or sometimes, "I really liked that."  His feedback is more affirming than my teachers.  However, my teacher has been giving me awesome suggestions.  I finished conducting the second movement of the Chichester Psalms.  JT (my teacher) wanted me to start the third movement, even though we were almost out of time.  I did most of the orchestral beginning before stopping.  JT said, "I see nothing wrong with that.  It was clear and well done."  Of course, there were a few tweaks, but overall he was very pleased.  The accompanist also said, "I had no trouble following any of that."  I brought in some of my orchestral conducting learnings as well, which I thought helped.  At the end of the lesson, JT said I have made many improvements.  "What a difference a year makes!" he said.  He proceeded to say a lot of "schmutz" was out of my gesture and the accompanist remarked how much easier and unaffected my gesture is.  More musical.  

This year has really started off well.  Much of it has to do with my intention to relax and focus.  Much of it has to do with the fact I have other grad colleagues and we are all working together.  I am engaging others in music conversations (always one of my favorite things to do).  

Last night we had our first night of Beach Cafe (a fundraiser for the department).  Tonight is our second.  Last night I went out afterwards with the graduate students- and all of us exclaimed what an awesome time we had as we were leaving.  John and friends will be heading to tonight's show- with an adult excursion after the show.  It is almost two and a half hours long with intermission, but I think it is worth it.  

Coventry Carol Premiere

We have it!  The Coventry Carol!  The arrangement written specifically for the Women's Chorus is here.  It is difficult, but will be stunning.  Women's Chorus will sing it at Winter Festival.  It will be premiered there and the concert is being taped for public television this year.

I would say this is exciting.

Genderized Conducting?

Musing:  I have been thinking about this lately... it seems like the men I know that conduct are sometimes too large in their gesture.  It seems like the women I know that conduct are too small in their gesture.  I wonder if there is a gender reason for this?  I know when I conduct, I want to conduct gracefully and beautifully.  I think it can feel extremely ungraceful if I am conducting too big.

I have my first voice lesson today!  So excited.

References

As it is mid-September, it's important for me to be thinking about references.  And not just thinking about it, but asking people to be references.  So, after some feedback from my teacher and some thinking on my own, I think I know who I will ask.  I want my references to cover as broad a range of information as possible.  Obviously, my teacher will be a reference.  I will also ask my voice teacher, since he works with me quite closely and probably has one of the best ideas of my musicality and my understanding of all the pieces we sing.  He has also expressed a willingness to be a reference.  My teacher suggested I ask someone I have worked with in the past (he thought maybe an administrator), but I think I'll ask my former colleague.  He worked with me closely for two years and not only knows my work ethic, but also how I teach and my passion for teaching.  I also may ask, if I want to switch it up, my graduate advisor.  She knows little of my musical ability but knows a bit about my teaching passion and my work ethic.  She also knows that I like to be involved.  And most of the time, a willingness to be involved and invested in the education institution is seen as a good thing.

I promised my friend Austen I would keep him updated on the graduate school process.  While I hope to actually connect with him on the phone, I figured that I would also document much of the process on here.  

I sent out an e-mail to University of Iowa and the University of Washington yesterday.  Those two are probably less interesting to me than FSU, MSU, and Georgia (perhaps even than Boston), but I want to look at various options.  Since they are remotely interesting, I want to get information about them.  I have also thought about looking at the University of Maryland, but I am also at the point where I need to be applying and no longer spending as much time looking.  I plan on putting together my applications over the next few weeks, minus the conducting video.  That I would like to wait until after my November 3rd concert.

I mentioned the director at University of Georgia to my teacher (forgive me if I already said this in an earlier blog post).  He stopped for a moment, nodded, and said, "That would be an interesting choice."  I asked him what he thought of the director there, and (paraphrasing) he said,"  I hired DB to do the all-state last year, so I think he knows what he's doing."  We spoke a little about what it would mean for me to go to a school like UGA, with a solid but not as known program.  We also talked about the reality of applying for jobs with various degrees.  He said that having a DMA from UGA would certainly not prevent me from getting hired, but on the other hand, if it came down to a couple candidates and they had degrees from well known schools (and we were fairly equal in ability), they would have the advantage.  

I was looking at various schools and their choral staff this weekend- and I see plenty of women who are assistant directors... but very few women who are DCAs.  

One last thing: This past weekend on chamber retreat, we had a bonfire.  At this bonfire people were supposed to let others know why they would want to be friends with someone else in the choir.  When it got to the point where I was mentioned, the first thing someone said was, "Shannon is smart.  I don't know why you wouldn't want to be friends with someone who has that kind of knowledge."  I was already humbled.  The other things people mentioned were that I was a good leader, that I was warm and approachable, I had an inspiring work ethic, and that I was committed not only to learning but also to the relationships I formed.  Like most people, I am constantly working on who I am, trying to be a better person as I often fall short.  But some of the attributes I admire the most in others (compassion, warmth, intelligence, fair leadership) are the things I aspire to be.  While I still have a long way to go, it was humbling and a relief to hear that I am on the right path.  

One more thing:  Speaking of fair leadership, John and I were talking about education the other day.  I said the one thing about my future that has me concerned is education.  How can I encourage others to go into education with all the doubts I have about the respect given to the educators that work so hard?  John suggested I go into education policy making.  And this he has mentioned a few times.  Could I be a DCA and a policy maker? :-)

Happy Monday!

Teachers Are Awesome

So the teacher's strike in Chicago does not end tomorrow.

I wish there were a better solution.  I'm surprised at the demonizing of teachers.  Being a teacher myself (albeit, I haven't taught for a year since I have been in school), I have not met any teacher who would leave their children out of school for selfish reasons.  Pay sucks?  Benefits suck?  Teachers would quit.  But when it comes to the support teachers need- textbooks, safe classrooms, comfortable classrooms, support from administrators... I have been there.  I know that when I left Arizona I almost quite teaching- because I care so greatly for education and it was depressing to see that those who were making decisions about the school districts that affected my students negatively.  Not just that, but to have a government that doesn't support education?

Let me see if I can explain it in another way.  I care greatly about education and especially music education.  But when I was constantly running into obstacles and those obstacles were people who knew nothing about music or education?  It not only wore me down, but frankly it started to depress me.  I was disheartened going into work.  I found myself even in tears a few times.  My students deserved the best but they weren't getting that.

Here is what I saw when I was teaching in Arizona:  We had no money for substitute teachers, so when a teacher was sick, normally about 10-15 of the students would come to my classroom and sit (where there were no desks) while my kids sang but were ultimately distracted.  We had no money for paper.  Students had to bring their own and I couldn't make photo copies.  We weren't allowed to tell the students this because we didn't want to "alarm parents."  There was an agreement that there could not be more than 27 kinder students in a classroom, but the school board ignored that because of the budget.  Suddenly, kinder classrooms had 36 students in it while sharing an aid between 3 other classrooms.  And the class sizes were expected to get bigger.  Worried about standardized tests, students were not allowed to take field trips for a month before the standardized test.  Two weeks before the test, all learning was put away and the students reviewed for the test.  Yes, two weeks of review for a standardized test.  And when I left, the next year they were taking away prep hours for many of the teachers.  And at the end of the school day, all teachers were assigned to duties.  This meant that any prep work and/or grading was to be done completely at home.  Not even a chance to do it during school hours.

And not that it matters, but my insurance was not much better than it is now (and it's awful now) and my pay was low (and potential growth in pay was only in tiny increments).  I wonder how anybody finds this kind education acceptable.  If my children were going to a public school district and the school board said it was okay to have 35 other kids in the classroom with my kinder child, I would pull my children and put them in a private school.  Or I would teach them at home.  Or honestly, we would find a different school district.  But John and I are lucky- we will have options for our future children.  What about the parents who don't have that option?  Why do their children deserve less than any one else's?

So I wish there wasn't a strike.  But if the teachers don't make demands for better schools and show they are serious, what other options do they have?  Continue to "discuss"?  How far would that get them?

In the end, I firmly believe that the wrong people are making decisions about education.  I think the educators should be making the decisions.  Ultimately they are the experts.  And believe it or not, teachers are normally creative problem solvers.  I would trust them.

Fatigued but not Sore

The past few days I was on a choir retreat in the mountains.  We left Thursday afternoon and returned two days later.  It was interesting as my voice is not as tired as I thought it would be.  And here are the reasons why:

1) I sing differently with Chamber Choir.  I sing healthier.  I don't need to push and I can use my healthiest sound.

2) When my voice was tired, I allowed myself to mark.

3) My teacher did a good job of balancing.  Although we practiced for 12 hours total, we interspersed it with other things that were not singing.

Overall, when I left yesterday my voice was fatigued but not sore.

It was a good lesson for me to see this balance.

I was also told to learn the Argento "I Hate and I Love."  Not something I was expecting to have to learn how to conduct, but it will be fine.

I had my first real lesson last Wednesday.  My teacher was very complimentary of my progress and said I was very clear.  I am conducting Chichester Psalms in my lessons and made it through about half of the first movement.  The biggest thing is allowing myself to be bigger in my gesture.  I have small down, but if it's took big I feel as if I am flapping.  My teacher assured me that I don't look like I am flapping, but in a piece where dynamics are marked "fff", I can take a chance and be as large as I can control.  At any rate, good first lesson.

Generation Defining Moment

"This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before."
Leonard Bernstein

Today I heard multiple times that September 11, 2001 will be the defining moment of my generation's life.  Well, I'm hear to tell you that is not the defining moment of my life.  It won't be the worldly moment I remember with vivid clarity.  Like everyone else, I was heart broken for the lives lost, for the senseless violence.  I was praying for the families and more, praying for the fire department, police department, and other volunteers who were trying to dig through the rubble and find people.  I was 18, two weeks into my freshman year at Luther, and I had no concept of the world outside of me.  By the end of the day, I had begun to think about the implications of the tragedy and, more over, I wondered how the U.S. would respond.  I remember thinking that how we responded as a nation and as individuals would say a lot about the caliber of people we were and the kind of country we were.

So what do I remember with vivid clarity?  March 19, 2003.  The day President Bush announced he was sending troops to Iraq.  He didn't talk about going to war, but he didn't have to.  I found out at Eucharist, a Wednesday evening reflective service.  I was stunned.  I cried.  I didn't want to go to war.  The country of Iraq wasn't attacking us.  I don't recall if Eucharist was longer that evening, or if I just felt like time slowed.  After Eucharist, I wandered around campus a bit on my own.  I didn't feel like I could go back to my dorm and act as if it were a normal Wednesday.  I remember walking past the music building, past the library, by the library lawn... and I got angry.  I believed that the President was using September 11, 2001 to fuel support for a war that had nothing to do with the September 11 attacks.  I didn't understand why we were sending troops to Iraq.  I told myself the President had to know something that I didn't... and I tried to find comfort in that.  But it didn't really make me feel better (imagine how I when reports started surfacing that there were no WMD).  Over the period of many weeks I tried to understand.  As one of my friends, who was in the Reserves, got called away to duty... as the campus struggled with supporting the students they loved who were going away to Iraq but yet vehemently disagreeing with the war.  Hadn't there already been too many deaths?

I will not forget March of 2003.  It's the month I realized how much I believed that love, patience, tolerance, kindness, rationality, understanding, hope, and working together were things I believed in with the core of my being.

There are things I get worked up about, many of them political.  But I don't think I had ever been so disappointed nor have felt so disappointed since as I did on March 19, 2003.

Music Affect/Effect

Why is it that sometimes we listen to a song that really affects us?  I often wonder if there are certain chord progressions or combinations of instruments that I enjoy.  Of course, I'm too lazy (and busy?) to really figure out what they would be.  But still, there is music that makes us stop and holds us captive.

Tonight I listened to a work entitled "Sancta Civitas" by Ralph Vaughan Williams.  I love it.  It would be a combination of the music and the weather (I'm currently enjoying a Minnesota evening with a beautiful, cool breeze).  But it is an awesome work.

I fell really hard for Carmina Burana when I first listened to it as well.  Fortunately and unfortunately, we are singing it at school right now.  It's fortunate because I am learning the piece and will get to know it well for my future choral needs.  It's unfortunate because that piece has lost a little bit of that magic.  Maybe it will come back for the performance.

If done right, Sancta Civitas may not lose it's magic when performed.  I felt the same way about "Gesang der Parzen" by Brahms.

And I also wonder what music really moves other people.  So feel free to share.

Nomination

What is this?  Two posts in one day?

I just watched President Obama's nomination speech.  One classy fellow.  I'd vote for him.

But this post is not political.  This post is about other things.

I had two more ladies sign up for Women's Chorus between my post 9 hours ago and now.  Bring it on!  The skill range is going to be vast, but I've crossed wider rivers.  We now have a good number of sopranos.  We will see how they all balance out once everyone finds their voice and comfortability level with new songs.

My thesis project report is now approved.  Well, at least it's on it's way to my graduate advisors desk who will sign it and approve it.  So, I can celebrate.  John and I will do that probably when I return from Minnesota.  Bring on the Brahms!  And Women's Chorus!  And Opus 37!  More on that later.

So, I am thinking about what I need to pack for my trip.  Clothes.  And what homework?  Conducting, diction, orchestral conducting, women's music, and I think I'll bring two masterworks to study (Vaughan Williams and Mozart).  I hope I have time to do most of it, because I would love to truly focus on note taking on Tuesday for my thesis.

Alright, time to put away the technology and school stuff.  We are at a coffee shop almost 3 miles away and will walk home fairly soon.  It's a beautiful night.

Successful Rhythmic Dictation

Bam!  Successful dictating of rhythm to John last night after I got home from class.  10:45 at night.  My husband is so indulging.  What is conducting style rhythmic dictation?  I have the rhythm in front of me.  John doesn't.  I have to try to get him to sing the rhythm I know and he doesn't.  Just an exercise in clarity and gives us more resources to draw on.  But last night night it was successful!

I also finished the harmonic analysis of the first of three pieces in my thesis proposal set.  Yes, it was only one page.  But still, one harmonic analysis done, two to go.

Also now have 24 ladies in Women's Chorus.  This is up from 13 two weeks ago.  And up from 18 last week.

And last quick thing: I met a scout for the Cincinnati Reds at my favorite coffee shop this morning.  Really neat!

It's a Good Day

It's a good day.  Let me tell you why.

I had FOUR (yes, four) ladies contact me today about women's choir.  The group, which was at 13 a week ago, is now at 23.  And I'm hoping to get a few more as the week goes on.  I have spent more time on their music the past few days and am starting to know what I want from them, which makes me much more confident that the next rehearsal will be productive and engaging.  What I failed to do before school I am doing now.  Prepping pays off.  I have communicated with both of the section leaders.  Both were thrilled- and the alto section leader told me it made her day.  I believe both of them will be excellent for multiple reasons.  Both are musical and intelligent.  Both are not afraid to spend time working and putting effort forth.  The alto section leader is a music education senior, this will be great experience for her.  Not to mention, she has a good ear for musical "correctness".  I will make her goal to help with the alto unified sound- which will also force her to be aware of her own sound.  And that will be good for her.  The soprano section leader is a vocal performance major who is a member of ACDA, as she believes in the power of education.  She is kind and encouraging.  In her section, there a lot of really nice voices, but young voices.  She will be excellent in giving them good vocal health things to think about, plus I'll make that one of her goals.

It's also a good day because my thesis proposal has been sent on to my second committee member.  And my graduate advisor told me she was getting codes for me to register for thesis writing credits.

It's a good day because I was able to start my Tuesday "schedule".  I went to a coffee shop at 8 and did some administrative stuff, looked at diction, looked at orchestral conducting, and then read some sources for my thesis.  I also started the harmonic analysis on the first of the Drei Geistliche Choere, the basis of my thesis proposal (more on that later).

It's a good day because I got to spend time with John at the coffee shop this morning.  And then after school was finished, I went back to a coffee shop to do some more work (I really want to make sure I work until 5 PM on Tuesday and Thursdays) and John met me there.  I won't get that next week, so I cherish the time we get to spend with each other this week- even if we're doing separate things.

It's a good day because I went for a 4.5 mile run.  It wasn't fast, but it felt good.  I haven't had a good, long run like that in months.

It's a good day because I met up with a friend for lunch.  We caught up and were able to talk about our graduate school woes, jazz, and all the music things we want to attend this year.

It's a good day because I learned a little bit more about another graduate school and will be learning more.  Through a discussion with John today, I was able to solidify what I wanted in a school... just a little more.

Sometimes it's not a good day.  Or a good week.  And those are tough.  Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to get to where I want to be.  I want to be DCA at a 4 year institution, preferably without graduate students.  And I want to be a loving and thoughtful wife, daughter, sister, friend, future-mother.  There are days I don't feel like I will be good at any of it.  Sometimes I'm too hard on myself (let's face it- I may be the biggest perfectionist I know).  Sometimes I deserve it.  But it's good to remember the bigger picture.  While I may feel good or bad in the moment, ultimately I strive to contribute to a cause, to contribute positivity and goodness in the world through music and love.

I hope everyone can experience the love I do.  And I hope they are also able to give the love back.

SB

Sitting in a coffee shop in Santa Barbara right now.  We woke up early this morning to take a trip up the PCH and spend some time with a friend.  And we stopped at a breakfast place and had an Acai Bowl.  Some healthy fruit smoothie with fruit on it... my mom would have hated it (John's smoothie was green because of the spinach and broccoli in it).

But, of course, not until after a stop at a local coffee joint.  I just finished looking at Women's Chorus music.  I have not spent nearly enough time on the music for Women's Chorus, but I plan on making up for that between now and the next rehearsal.

I e-mailed my thesis to review for my committee.  I haven't actually turned it into my professor yet, but for all purposes, it's done.  I was going to wait to see if my committee got back to me... but they didn't, so I'm going to print everything off and sneak over on Monday to slip it on his desk.  Now I just have to decide- do I put it in a folder?  I thought about putting it in a nice, clear cover folder.  But the front page MUST be signed by the committee and I don't want the clear cover to get in the way.  Any ideas?  Maybe I just need to make a trip to my local office supply store and find something.

I received an e-mail today I had a financial hold on my account.  So I just paid it off online with an e-check.  I am so lucky to be able to pay it off immediately.  That and over half of my financial aid was refunded to my checking account.  So I used that money.

In a moment, John and I are going to listen (again) to the new Avett Brother's album.  It's a good day.