Lists and E-mails

I find myself in an odd place- while I really want to relax more and not think about school or studying, I am also really eager to begin score study on new music.  We'll see which one wins- laziness or ambition.

In other news, I have started sending out e-mails to DMA/PhD schools.  I can't believe now is the time to do that.  It's exciting.  I would like to squeeze in a masterclass this fall, but I'm not sure how or when I will get that done.  I want to do things that make me stand out among the other applicants, but I worry that I won't find anything to make me stand out.  At any rate, the biggest thing I have going for me?  Well, two things: Drive.  And belief that I can do the job I want.  And I can do it well.

Day Off

Tomorrow I am taking off of thinking about school.  No thinking about thesis.  No planning rep for next year, nor recital stuff.  Maybe music listening, but really, tomorrow is devoted to: Working out, cleaning, reading Women's Health Magazine, and spending time with John.  Oh, and... maybe thinking about the wedding.

And I will not feel guilty for taking a break from school stuff.

But speaking of thesis, I am going to write my thesis next semester and then do my recital in the spring.  And so far I have one grade in from this semester- it's an A.  Here's hoping for all As.

I Cannot Wait.

I cannot wait. And right now, that statement has nothing to do with the end of the school year or the wedding. Or children. Or a DMA program. But I cannot wait to be teaching again. I have the Women's Chorus, which is great. But I cannot wait until I work with future educators. Until I can help them grow and learn, help shape them into future conductors and teachers and lovers of music who want to share it with their own students. I have never seen so many students freak out. I don't remember my colleagues being this stressed in undergrad. I am sure finals did make people nervous, but they didn't complain about it to every one they could. I think Facebook is enabling this. However, that's not the point. I did see one post on Facebook that made me sad, and then reminded me that I cannot wait to teach. Here is the gist of the post: A girl who is a music education major here said on her facebook wall she had never been more disappointed in herself. This same girl, who I believe is focused and a hard worker, the other day told me that in her vocal juries, one of the teachers said, "Not so bad for a clarinet player." She switched to vocal music education her freshman year here, but still plays the clarinet in band. She said she has always sung in choir. So she is struggling and not getting the encouragment she needs. Now, some people would argue that we go to school at a conservatory, that the students here should just step up, do their work, practice hard, and improve... without needing such gentle encouragement. But conservatory or not, it is still an education institution. And yes, sometimes even I think that some students need their hand held a little too much. However, in general, the students here work hard, both for grades, to learn, and for approval from their teachers. And if someone makes a comment in a jury or gives a test over something they didn't give notes on, this is very discouraging for students that are passionate and have high hopes for their future. In the same way that I have always been very careful about what I said to my middle school and high school students, I am also careful about what I say to my college students. I believe in being honest with my students and their progress, but I also believe in supporting their potential to improve and gain valuable skills and insight. So, I cannot wait to teach again. And more than one choir. But until then, one choir will have to do.

Paper Submission

I just submitted my paper for my Gender and Music class.  Two "finals" left- conducting and French diction.

I am going to look into writing my dissertation next semester.  There are no other classes I want to take next semester (as I would rather take the classes offered in the spring than in the fall).  I don't know if it will be possible, but I am willing to see.

I Have Had Singing

We had our last Women's Choir Concert of the year tonight.  I was very proud of the women.  While we had a different sound this semester from last, the ladies were very musical.  This was probably the most musical concert they had all year.  And it's partly in response to my conducting, which is exciting.

After the concert, my teacher asked if I was pleased.  My response was that I was pleased with the ladies.  They had done what I had asked them to do.  I also told him that after a concert, I like to focus more on what they accomplished than what they didn't.  There are things I can improve, but the women did a really great job with what I gave them.

The point is, I am proud of my ladies.  They sang well and were more musical this concert than any other.  I'm working on my conducting.

Wedding Countdown- 54 days

Tonight is the Women's Choir concert.  So excited.  One week of school, then finals.  It's hard to believe.

Time is flying.  We leave for the midwest in 2 weeks (about), which means wedding planning will be in full swing. 

But, first, I must focus on school.

Brucker 9

Last night I saw Simon Rattle conduct the LA Phil.  It was awesome. 

Second movement of Brucker 9?  Amazing. 

Probably the best symphony concert I have been to in my entire life.

May Day

I'll keep this short.

I have rediscovered what I am not very good at: Prioritizing.  I try to do everything.  And it's difficult for me to say "no, this is more important."  For example, I'm pretty stressed out about a term paper... but conducting?  That's more important.  With that in mind, I need to go practice conducting my Bach cantata.

Oh, and did you know very VERY few people have heard of May Day baskets here?  I have asked dozens of people today and only one has heard of a May Day basket.  Happy May Day!