King David might be musical

Conducting is starting to click today.  I don't want to get too excited- it's not perfect.  But at least I feel like I'm starting to anticipate the music.  That's always the issue- do I know it well enough that I'm anticipating instead of riding with the music.  When I conduct Chichester Psalms at the beginning of the semester, the anticipation was easier than King David.  Partly because the piece is shorter, partly because it's three movements instead of 27 incidental pieces, and partly because I had a lot more time to prepare.

But today... finally... I am starting to be at a good place with some of the movements.  I have been so frustrated the past few weeks because I haven't been where I want to be with King David.  And the good news today is that I am making progress!

My ladies sang through their set briefly last night at the end of the group rehearsal.  We were missing almost half the choir, but that was fine.  The only purpose was to sing through the pieces once and make sure they are fresh in the mind.  The first piece, Hodie Apparuit by Orlando di Lasso, was sung with only three of our first sopranos there.  And they are three sopranos who are sometimes timid.  But they held it together and only had two places that really tripped them up.  But they got back into it.  I know it wasn't perfect, but I can't help be unbelievably proud of those three that stepped up.

"Master class" Idea

I came up with an idea for my fellow graduate students and I really hope we do it.  I want to get the four of us together and share how we prepare a large work.  We would take 10-15 minutes and walk our colleagues through the process of a piece and how we prepared it- then we could take 5-10 minutes to ask questions and discuss.  I would love to hear how my colleagues prepared certain pieces, what they looked for, what they did to memorize what was coming next without listening to a million recordings (which I don't like doing if I can help it), etc.

I'm about to write a little bit more of my thesis.  My goal is to have it written by the time the semester is done.  Then, during winter break, I will revise and review.  Trust me, it will need a LOT of revision.

Oh, and in a less than a month I need to start major studying for my aural exam about choral masterworks.

This week is Winter Festival.  Did I mention that the professor that arranged the Coventry Carol for the Women's Chorus has told me he would love to actually write something for them?  He said, "Now that I have seen how professional you and the choir really are, I would love to write something for you."  Pretty exciting, eh?

At any rate, currently I'm listening to a Christmas album.  You can't get much better than Choral Christmas music... especially choral music with brass and strings accompaniment.

Tempo Irritations

I spent some time listening to various recordings of King David this morning.  Not the entirety of the Oratorio, as it's an hour, but portions of it.  Many of the recordings take tempos that are not what Honegger marked.  Now, if a tempo is marked 100 and someone takes it at 106, fine.  When the tempo is marked 80 and the conductor takes it at 60- if they only do that once or twice, what do I care?  But when they take it 60 when it's marked 80, 96 when it's 72, 50 when it's marked 76... then it's as if they don't trust the composer's tempo markings.  And fine, conductors can do what they want.  But I disagree with many of the choices.  Maybe when I'm older and more experienced I will be less stodgy in my desire to follow what's written in the music.  To be honest, when I am older and more experienced I will probably have changed my mind about a lot of things, and especially in relation to conducting.  I will probably reread this entry and shake my head at how naive or unthoughtful I am being.  That's okay.  It's all a journey.

I was going to stay at Polly's until 11:30 today, but I think I'm going to go home and go for a run.  I may then conduct a little more.  And then I will think about the Brahms piece I am writing about in my thesis.  I am at the point where I want to start writing about the harmonic analysis of the piece.  I could do it now, but I'd like to spend more time listening to, singing through, and understanding the structure. I might even Schenkerian analyze it.  For some people, they think it's a waste of time.  For me, it gave me a structure in which to understand the whole of the piece at a macro level.  I couldn't do it so succinctly before.

Thesis Writing

Sitting in my favorite coffee shop, watching the hustle and bustle of the customers, thinking about what I should be doing (more on that in a minute), and enjoying my moment of relaxation.  I decided this morning that I need to take more time to intentionally relax.  I think that will only make me a better conductor... and a better person.  I know that I have a tendency to be too worried about things.  I have said this before- most of the time I am okay with that.  But sometimes it's not such a good thing.  I almost think I should focus on the excitement of things rather than how I will do.

At any rate, today I am going to watch some videos of people conducting King David.  I could do that this morning, although my score is not in front of me.  I could also do it this afternoon when I get home.    So we'll see if I finish this entry and watch videos of people conducting without my score or wait until this afternoon.

I did write another chapter of my thesis (so now I have two down), but I can't promise that it is of high quality.  That's okay since it's just a rough draft and I don't have to turn it in until the last week in January.  Tuesday I'll attempt to start on the next chapter- now it becomes an analysis of my piece.  My teacher told me to limit my paper to 20 pages.  Right now it is at 5... single spaced.  So double that and it will be about 10 pages.  So I only have 10 pages left.  I will write until I am done and cut anything out that I need to cut out.

Letter of Rec

My teacher sent me the recommendation he wrote for me.

It was so humbling.

First, I didn't know he could say so many glowing things about me.  I know it's in his interest to have graduate students go on and do well, but I also know he does not want to be embarrassed by having a graduate student of his go on who doesn't have what it takes.  Still, I read the letter and didn't know what to do with myself for the next few hours.

Second, when I did start to process the recommendation and what he said, I became determined to "prove him right" the rest of the year.  I am sure I won't be a disappointment, but I do want to surpass expectations.  How do I do that?  By staying focused.  And that does not mean getting stressed out and bringing that stress with me to lessons.

He also sent an e-mail to the DCA at some of the schools I applied to.  I know this because he forwarded me the e-mail.

My "dream" school (my top choice, the "pie in the sky" school) is still waiting on his recommendation, although I am sure that will be finished today.  The two schools I want to probably attend the most are still waiting on his recommendation.  Don't get me wrong- I like all the schools I applied to.  Each have their strengths and each of them I would be thrilled to attend.  I think I could learn from each of the programs and also think I could contribute to each of the programs.  My top two choices are really that because of location.

I woke up this morning and did an hour of conducting on King David.  Today my focus was the second half of the piece (After the Dance Before the Ark).  I have a lesson tomorrow and should focus on the two movements right before "Dance Before the Ark."  Things are far from awesome, but at least the music is starting to come together.

Alright, off to think through my conducting presentation for tomorrow.

Surprise Conversations!

No classes today.  So this morning I have done some administrative stuff and listened to the entirety of King David.  Next will be thesis work- the first work I have done for a month.  I'm ready.  This afternoon will be more thesis work and polishing my conducting presentation.  Oh, and writing my rehearsal for tomorrow.  

As I was sitting in the coffee shop this morning, a man stopped and spoke with me.  He is a principal at a school but was a vocal music ed major in undergrad.  He did not teach music, but I didn't ask him what he ended up teaching before he became a principal.  We had a nice chat about music and how awesome it is, but also how difficult it is for teachers to get the resources they need to teach their music classes (often money being a biggest factor).  So this principal had always wanted to compose film scores, but said that now he could not compose his way out of a paper bag.  He also loves singing songs from the 30s, 40s, and 50s, but didn't know that until the end of his undergrad career.  It was a surprising and nice conversation.

Alright, on to thesis!

Applications= Done!

My applications are all in.  Done.

I finished my last application this morning.  Although I made a mistake- I forgot to upload my writing sample before I submitted the application.  So I had to e-mail the graduate coordinator.  It was a dumb mistake and I feel really silly, but I think it is all taken care of.  The problem with the writing sample is that I have never had to write an analysis paper for a class.  Ever.  We did some group presentations last year in graduate theory.  And I didn't have to write an analysis paper in undergraduate.  So I wrote a paper just for my DMA applications.  And it wasn't quite the length that the school I applied to today asked for.  So I provided two writing samples- one my senior project paper from undergraduate and one my written-just-for-DMA-school paper.  While I can see it is beneficial to be able to speak or write clearly about an analysis of a paper, I think the papers are very boring.

I am so happy to have my applications done.  I have been working on them WAY too long.  I started mid September and I have been a bit stressed out about them every since.  I don't like starting something and having to wait to finish it.  At least now I can stress out about other things- like my conducting presentation next week, my King David prep, and my thesis.

I have not thought about my thesis for a month.  Next week I'm back to that.

And of course, the most important thing that pertains to school is my conducting.  So I will be working on Women's Chorus stuff as well.

Stop Thinking!

This post is about singing.

I love to sing- most of the time.  But sometimes it's not fun because I feel inadequate.  When I was younger, this was never an issue.  As small children we are often so carefree- we do something because we love it and that's all that matters.  But then as we grow up we started to question our abilities, what others think of us, etc.  

At the end of last semester, my voice was starting to find it's way back to healthy singing.  Things were starting to click and I felt confident that I would start this year at a good spot and make even more progress.  The problem is, the first week back was great and then I feel like my voice took about 3 steps backwards.  I'm not sure what happened.  It's probably a little unfair to be writing about this today, after 3 weeks of my voice being tired and falling into back into bad habits.  The past few weeks I have been so focused on singing right notes, correct rhythms, and the same vowel as others that I haven't noticed how much it's affected my solo singing.  I love choral singing as much as the next person (look at my career!), but I don't like the feeling that I have been teaching my voice bad habits without fully being aware.  

So, over the next week, my goal is to warm-up before choir and sing on the days I don't have choir.  That is, of course, if my voice isn't exhausted.  I think this means that I am not allowed to be out too late- my voice needs to recover from the late nights of this past week.  

At the end of my lesson, Brian (my voice teacher) asked me how it feels to sing the way I was at the end of my lesson- how do we get there?  I replied it happens when I stop thinking about all the micro things I need to do and singing based on a feeling.  Basically, I need to think less.  And I'm not being silly when I say that.

Quick update on DMA school apps- I have one school left to apply for.  One application is completely finished.  Another two I have to wait until after our concert this weekend so I can use the video from the concert.  I will put the video together hopefully on Sunday and send it out on Monday.  Then it's a waiting game.  And while I'm waiting?  I am putting together a presentation on conducting texts/curriculum and writing my thesis.