Yesterday I met with my graduate advisor and planned out most of my time here. My last semester will hopefully be lighter so I can take my (4 credits worth) master thesis. We spoke a little about my master thesis. Actually, for MM scholars, it's called a "Project Report", since we have to do a recital project. Our paper is based on an aspect of our recital. I do not need to be extremely specific yet, but I will work on my thesis proposal in research methods this semester. I am hoping to do something about an early woman composer. Perhaps Madalena Casulana, Francesca Caccini, Barbara Strozzi, or a few others are potential composers. Yesterday I was very interested in Caccini, but after talking to my graduate advisory and my research methods teacher (both are early music scholars), I am more interested in Strozzi. In my dream world, I would fly away to some European country (all on a grant, of course, so it would cost next to nothing) and uncover an old manuscript no one has seen since the woman composer wrote it. However, since the likelihood of my stumbling upon an old manuscript is slim-to-none, I would settle for taking a Strozzi manuscript (apparently much of her stuff has not been edited yet) and put it into a performance edition. This song would then be performed on my recital. And I would do a lot of research on the piece itself. That research might require some travel... If I must travel to Italy to do real research, then I must! John suggested I look at some cheaper options first.
Today had potential to be a rough day. But it turned out okay. I was late to the conducting class I assist with- for a reason that was entirely my fault and inexcusable. I simply lost track of time and got there 3 minutes late.
I had my conducting lesson today as well. I had a hunch it would not go well. For the past week, I have not known what to practice with my conducting. And it's not because I'm an expert conductor. So this told me that I did not know what to look for- which also meant I was probably doing something poorly and just not recognizing it. So I went to my lesson- and sure enough, multiple things were corrected. A few times I came close to tears. The criticism was not too harsh, but I was very frustrated. I had to remind myself that I would get nowhere if I gave in to the frustration, but that I should focus on the task at hand. That helped me refocus. In times like that, I also like to remind myself that progress is slow- I will not be an expert overnight. At the end of the lesson, I conducted two measures and my teacher stopped me. The accompanist in the room nodded and said, "Yes. That was amazing." I conducted the two measures once more, and again my teacher stopped me. He said, "That was beautiful and clear. That was professional level conducting. Make sure you footnote me when you are into your professional career." We all laughed at that, but it was quite a compliment.
I also need to remind myself: I came here to get better at my gesture. It is okay if there are growing pains. And I do need to work hard. If I don't, this is a waste of my time and money.
The day went on. And it ended up being a good day. Everything I thought I was going to be disappointed in turned out okay. We were given a surprise quiz in Research Methods on a book she had told us to look at a few weeks earlier. The book included writing tips. I skimmed through it but realized it was just good writing technique, so did not spend time taking notes, highlighting, etc. I was worried about the quiz and got a 13.5 out of 15 on it. In my mind, if it's not a perfect score or close to it, it just is not good enough. Turns out I got the 2nd highest score in the class- and received a prize (a ruler with a list of musicians). My friend Grace received the highest score, earning 14 out of 15. I was quite excited about this. I told John this story after class and he called me (I think he was teasing but I'm going to pretend he was being sweet) his cute little bookworm.
The second I walked into conducting late today I thought, "This could be a bad day. I can't let it be." And what do you know? It turned out to be a productive, positive day.
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