I love to sing- most of the time. But sometimes it's not fun because I feel inadequate. When I was younger, this was never an issue. As small children we are often so carefree- we do something because we love it and that's all that matters. But then as we grow up we started to question our abilities, what others think of us, etc.
At the end of last semester, my voice was starting to find it's way back to healthy singing. Things were starting to click and I felt confident that I would start this year at a good spot and make even more progress. The problem is, the first week back was great and then I feel like my voice took about 3 steps backwards. I'm not sure what happened. It's probably a little unfair to be writing about this today, after 3 weeks of my voice being tired and falling into back into bad habits. The past few weeks I have been so focused on singing right notes, correct rhythms, and the same vowel as others that I haven't noticed how much it's affected my solo singing. I love choral singing as much as the next person (look at my career!), but I don't like the feeling that I have been teaching my voice bad habits without fully being aware.
So, over the next week, my goal is to warm-up before choir and sing on the days I don't have choir. That is, of course, if my voice isn't exhausted. I think this means that I am not allowed to be out too late- my voice needs to recover from the late nights of this past week.
At the end of my lesson, Brian (my voice teacher) asked me how it feels to sing the way I was at the end of my lesson- how do we get there? I replied it happens when I stop thinking about all the micro things I need to do and singing based on a feeling. Basically, I need to think less. And I'm not being silly when I say that.
Quick update on DMA school apps- I have one school left to apply for. One application is completely finished. Another two I have to wait until after our concert this weekend so I can use the video from the concert. I will put the video together hopefully on Sunday and send it out on Monday. Then it's a waiting game. And while I'm waiting? I am putting together a presentation on conducting texts/curriculum and writing my thesis.
1 comment:
Sometimes, I have to tell my singers and myself: Don't think! Sing! I also figure that if I'm in as good vocal health at the end of a rehearsal or lesson as the beginning, then I've treated my voice well. That often happens in my lessons, not so much in rehearsals):
I really hope someday we live in a similar area. It would be great to do a joint project together!
My newest goal is constant awareness when I'm conducting.
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