Perpetual Stress?

I live in a perpetual state of stress.  I realized that today.  This summer I wasn't stressed.  I became stressed as the semester went on and have been at what seems like maximum stress level for about 2 months now.  I am sure there is something not healthy about that.  You may think I am being dramatic, but I honestly don't think I have fully let go of stress for about 2 months.  I tried over Thanksgiving, but wasn't successful.  I worry a little bit about Winter Break... there is stuff I have to do.  Forcing myself not to do the things I need to do will probably stress me out more than working on the things I need to do.  But I do hope to keep it in perspective.  Yeesh!

This Friday is juries.  We have a mock jury tonight.  I am sure I'll be nervous, but I also don't really care.  I wonder if I should stop caring about grades, too.  I always want to do my best and I always feel like I can be doing more... that's the problem.  If I can always practice a little more, study a little harder, be a little more organized, I can do better.  But perhaps the problem is I don't know when to draw the line and stop.  It really seems like many people are more talented than myself, so I work harder to make up for it.  Whether this is all in my head or not, who knows, but this is probably where much of my stress comes from.

At any rate, this morning I decided I am going to try to be efficient and will dedicate time to what I need to do, but I want to try to relax a little bit more as well.

Enough of that.

I may have my last conducting lesson of the semester today.  Unless he wants us to meet next week, but I don't think so.  So that, with choir and mock juries still leads to a pretty full day.  I am also bringing my Christmas cards/treats to school to give to friends.  And Christmas is always exciting.

I can't wait for Christmas!