Ego Expansion

Yesterday's post was simply a reminder not to let ego get in the way.

I did more reflecting on that today.  "Ego" is more than just conceit.  Ego, by definition, is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance.  And "ego" can also mean letting ourselves get in the way... perhaps our own ego gets in the way of music, of teaching, or relationships, etc. because we allow ourselves to perceive (or believe) judgements about ourselves that cause us to doubt, to become defensive, to have too much hubris, etc.

This is one reason why I believe it is important to try to be balanced, to understand ourselves.  How can I teach music if I'm not balanced? How can I create music with others if I doubt my own ability or allow myself to twist a well-meaning comment into something negatively monumental?  (I believe some refer to this as "catastrophizing."). The short answer is: it's hard to teach or make music or be a reasonable human being if we allow ourselves to believe that what we have to give is less than what others have to give.

I have downloaded two of Brené Brown's books.  I started reading one, excited about the lessons I'd learn and be able to apply to the psychology of my students.  But as I get into the book, I realize how valuable these books will be for me as their teacher.  Not only because I will use these lessons to better teach my students (which I will do), but also because it will make me a better colleague, a better musician, and a better person to be in relationship with.

I apologize for ending a sentence with a preposition.  I also apologize for any errors in grammar or tenses or plurality.  It's 8:45 PM and I'm so tired, it might as well be 2 in the morning.