Your First Characteristic

Tonight, I am feeling particularly blessed to have chosen the vocation I chose.  I get to conduct.  But more than that, I get to make music- with others.  I get to help teach others how to make music.  What an amazing thing! 

Today I woke up and was feeling a little surly.  No particular reason- I just have been feeling this way for a couple days.  I feel a little cynical of the conducting world, too many egos and so many people that don't want to be collaborative, just competitive.  But there is nothing I can do about OTHER people.  So I asked myself, "If someone were describing me to a friend, what is the very first characteristic I would want them to say about me?"  What do I hope defines me, stands out?  And the first characteristic is NOT "well, my friend Shannon, she's a conductor."  I don't mind the third, maybe the second, characteristic to be "she's a good music teacher/conductor".  But not the first.  I hope the very first thing people say about me is, "My friend Shannon?  She's very warm, personable."  Even as an educator, I want a student to think, "My professor has high standards, is passionate, and is understanding."  The question for you to think about:  If I were describing you to someone else, what is the first characteristic you would hope I would say?  The point is, being a music teacher doesn't define me.  It is clearly an attribute and part of who I am and what I love, but I hope that is not what I am as a person.

My rehearsal tonight was solid.  My teacher came and observed.  He gave some great feedback.  It helped to remind me of two things.  1)  Get out of the pattern.  While this seems like a "no duh", sometimes I stay in a pattern for clarity's sake.  It's hard to always get what I want out of a choir when I am beating a four pattern.  2)  Songs are a process.  I was feeling confident on what I wanted.  Except I did a few dumb things- for example, the tempo on one of my pieces needs to be quicker.  I intentionally took it slower during the learning process, knowing that we could quicken the tempo with little difficulty.  But I never took the tempo that was written.  Why?  I don't know- I think I forgot.  But I didn't review the music and remind myself of the larger picture- which includes all aspects of the music.  I felt pretty dumb- though thankfully that was the dumbest thing I did. 

And I received my new rolling bag today!